It all started with an email from MTV News producer Joseph Patel about Vampire Weekend’s performance of “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” on Jimmy Kimmel (clip above), subject line “whoa.” Soon James “Cap’n” Montgomery, Daniel “Monty” Montalto, and myself had jumped into the fray — and it went straight downhill from there…

AM: Seemed amazing — then only kind of weak, I think.

JP: I just wanted to make Dave Matthews Band jokes.

JM: Where’s the morbidly obese drummer in the Florida Panthers jersey?

DM: I would think it was cool except for:

1. They couldn’t even let the kids get in a sweet little drum solo?
2. They had to kick them off the stage after one song?
3. They didn’t invite Darryl Strawberry up there or even dedicate the song to him.

JM: It woulda been awesome if Straw just sort of stumbled on stage, wild-eyed, frothing from the mouth and started banging on a drum.

DM: Is it me, or does the keyboardist look like David Archuleta if he enrolled at Pencey Prep?

AM: I think the kids were all like “I wouldn’t wear colors like that.”

DM: Kid #1 to Kid #2: “This band dresses like Kanye West three years ago.”

AM: Am I the only one who thinks those kids looked weirdly depressed?

JM: I just typed this in an IM conversation, and I don’t think I’ve ever unintentionally summed myself up better: “I HATE (INSERT NAME OF ANYTHING HERE).”