The R. Kelly Trial: Courtroom Reporters Keep Track of Jurors By Naming Them After Celebs

RKelly

Recently I walked you through the painfully selected jurors in the R. Kelly trial, and today I introduced you to the key players. But even for someone working from the courtroom nearly every day, it can tough to keep track of who’s who. So we R. Kelly beat reporters have sometimes had to play mind games to stay on top of our job.

When they started jury selection, it became harder and harder to tell prospective jurors apart, since at times we didn’t even know their numbers. So I started a little game with the other reporters, where we would refer to them by a celebrity code name — Mr. Miyagi, Ice-T, Jonathan Davis from Korn, etc. None of these were exact matches, so it doesn’t give away “identifying characteristics” — that would be illegal, we know, as the jurors’ identities and likenesses are not to be revealed. But to put a face on things, even the wrong face, we came up what R. Kelly’s jury look like if they were all varying degrees of famous…

Juror #69 – Luke Wilson

Juror #6 – Darlene Love

Juror #9 – Charles Dutton

Juror #21 – a young Ally Sheedy

Juror #22 – Luis Guzman (he’s had prior experience being a juror, and Guzman has prior experience on “Runaway Jury,” even though this juror is not Latin)

Juror #23 – Robert Downey, Jr. (after a bad night)

Juror #32 – Shar Jackson

Juror #40 – Bernie Mac

Juror #48 – a young Matthew Broderick

Juror #44 – Joe Montegna

Juror #61 – Alan Arkin

Juror #66 – Ed Norton

And then we got really carried away and started extending it to the key players in the trial…and even ourselves. You know, in case a movie were ever made of all this.

Who should play the judge? And (more importantly) who should play us? For the Sun-Times — and to complete our Brat Pack selection — we chose Anthony Michell Hall. For the Tribune, it’s Megan Mullally. We pretty much agreed upon Gene Hackman for defense attorney Ed Genson, and Meg Ryan and Mickey Rourke for the prosecution (since Bob Heilingoetter has a linebacker-type build), but the jury’s still out on who should play the judge. Jack Nicholson is getting a lot of votes…