An Open Letter To The Haters: Lily Allen = Ideal Girlfriend

I know some of you think she's awful, but as [MTV News producer] Monty put it, "Lily Allen rules. She put pics of herself hammered and being carried out of a club up on her Myspace."

And I agree. She'd be the awesome girlfriend you'd have when you're 22, and you'd backpack around Europe with her, take mushrooms in a field and go to Ibiza. You’d stay up late, do bad things, swim in the ocean nude, drink Ouzo, laugh and get bright red from the sun. You would wear sandals. She'd wear a sarong. Then, like a decade later, you'd be staring out your window onto a cul-de-sac in Wisconsin and you'd think to yourself, "Wow, I wonder what she's doing right now."

And you'd die a little bit inside.