Is Chris Martin Homeless, Or Just My Freshman-Year College Roommate?


(by James Montgomery)

So, you may have noticed — because they’ve been covered in every conceivable medium as of late — that Coldplay seem to have adopted a certain “look” to go along with their new album, Viva la Vida: tattered waistcoats, multicolored armbands, epaulets for days. Basically, they look like extras in “Les Mis” or Adam Ant’s backing band or even a more stylized version of Pat Patriot.

And I’m OK with that. There’s obviously a revolutionary undercurrent to Viva, what with the Delacroix painting on the cover and the references to deposed French king Charles X in the title track, and we commend them for their dedication to that theme. But do they really have to be that, well, dedicated?

Because, at this point, we’re beginning to wonder if Chris Martin and company even own other clothes. It seems they’re always dolled up in their revolutionary finest, which is odd, to say the least. Do they rehearse in full gear? Eat lunch in costume? Go to Tesco dressed as Napoleon’s understudies?

It’s pretty amazing, though it does make me worried that the entire band is homeless — or perhaps they’ve taken sartorial advice from my freshman-year roommate and are just going to avoid doing laundry for an entire year.

Though if the latter is true, I can’t wait until they enter the “mesh shorts and flip-flops” portion of their wardrobe. We need more rock stars who look like they just came from a volleyball match.

What do you think? Does Chris Martin need to fill out his wardrobe? Sound off below.