By Ryan Kroft
If you're anything like me, you live for beauty pageants — the swimsuits, the evening gowns and those oh-so-amazing interview segments. For my money, the very best of the lot is Miss Universe, where they trot out not just American beauties but also equally enchanting young ladies from exotic far-flung places like the Dominican Republic, Vietnam and (wait for it) Kosovo.
So I was super-excited last night as I parked myself in front of the TV with a bowl of popcorn and a huge DC (that's Diet Coke for the uninitiated) for a night of preposterous preening, antiquated talents and (let's be honest) shameful sexism. But what I didn't expect was the funniest musical performance since Spinal Tap! If you were watching, you know what I'm talking about.
During the show, hosts Mel B and Jerry Springer (see, this is why I love pageants) introduced "worldwide superstar" Lady Gaga to perform alongside the ladies as they modeled their swimsuits. The results were magnificent. But if you found yourself wondering, "Just who is this twitching, blond superhero from the future (or past)?," well, here's a piece we did about the artist a few months back. And yes, she was just as much fun with our Kim Stolz as she was on the Miss Universe stage.
Oh yeah ... and congrats to Miss Venezuela. Don't fret, Miss USA. Everybody will forget your evening-gown tumble once those photos of Brangelina's twins emerge.