Dear Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party:
Sorry I haven't written in a while. I kept meaning to check in on you, but I figured you've been busy this past year asking Gwen Stefani to put on more clothes and nudging Beyoncé and Christina Aguilera to neighboring countries to avoid corrupting your citizens' morals, so I didn't want to bother you.
I hear you recently said that Avril Lavigne's stage moves are "too sexy" and that you're trying to cancel her show in Kuala Lumpur. I've been assured by the skate rat turned glammy pop singer that she will refrain from hugging, kissing, jumping and shouting during her show and will be covered from shoulder to knee. And she'll totally tone down the raccoon eyes and use a non-bejeweled mike. So, are we cool now? Thanks.
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