You can have your Jon Stewarts, your Chris Matthewses and your Frank Riches. But when I want some serious, hard-hitting political commentary on Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin, I go to the same source I went to last week for wisdom on the anniversary of the September 11th attacks: Lindsay Lohan’s MySpace blog.
Joining a chorus of celebrity critics that already includes Matt Damon and Margaret Cho, Lohan took to her blog on Sunday to lay into the Alaska governor for her views on abortion and homosexuality, not to mention for posing for the cover of celebrity rags when she’s, like, not even a real celebrity.
“I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin,” Lohan wrote. “Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock? … I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States only four years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be.”
Lohan was particularly angered by an Associated Press story that Palin’s church promoted a conference devoted to the “conversion of gays.” She ends the rant by quoting that great Canadian stateswoman, Pamela Anderson, who once said, “She can suck it.”
Just typing about Palin, whom Lohan called a “narrow-minded, media-obsessed homophobe,” apparently filled her with so much “fear, anxiety, concern, disappointment and stress” that she reportedly punched a paparazzo in the nose later that night, after tripping over a metal barricade that she mistook for a photog’s foot, according to TMZ.
In more dire news, Lohan’s pal, DJ Samantha Ronson, who can’t vote anyway because she’s not a U.S. citizen, begged her American friends to do their research, “and if you’re in doubt — vote for Obama! Mainly because if she gets elected, my green card probably won’t get renewed!!!”
Finally, someone is talking about the real issues!