Lily, oh Lily. I guess an apology just isn’t good enough, is it? You know I love you and all your childish antics. You’re like a not mentally ill Pete Doherty, or a slightly less disheveled Courtney Love. And yeah, I get that it stuck in your craw that Katy Perry once referred to herself as the “fatter version of Amy Winehouse and the skinnier version of Lily Allen.” Who wouldn’t be pissed about that? But c’mon, Katy apologized and said she “didn’t mean anything by it.”

But since you insist on picking public fights (watch your back, Elton) — not to mention refusing to wear a top at the beach — there you’ve gone and done it again: You claim on your Facebook page that you “have Katy Perry’s number” and that you’re just “waiting for her to open her mouth one more time then it hits Facebook,” according to England’s tabloid of record, The Sun. The paper also claimed you’ve joined the “I hate Katy Perry and her dumb-ass song ‘I Kissed a Girl’ ” Facebook group, as well as the “Katy Perry? Who in the hell does she think she is” clique.

(Frankly, we can’t find the post, which appears to have been deleted, so we’ll have to swallow our pride and trust The Sun. But just this one time.)

Though you appear to have thought better of leaving that post up, I was able to find an interview you recently gave to England’s Metro that has drawn fire. You quipped, “I know lots of people that take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work every day, no problem at all … But we never hear that side of the story. I have no statement to make, I just wish people wouldn’t sensationalize this thing that just exists … The only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you — you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that’s not true.”

The upside? You said you no longer use cocaine yourself. But then you complain that your label didn’t give you the rock-and-roll treatment some of your predecessors got. “I’d have been booked in at the Ritz with 5 grams of cocaine on my table.”

Lily Allen is for the children.