By Emily Donahue
I want to start this letter off by saying that despite the past few years, I remain a fan of yours. I buy the rare magazines you grace the covers of, I can disappear for days watching “Newlyweds” marathons and, yes, I even have a copy of “Jessica Simpson I Do: Achieving Your Dream Wedding” — although I have to admit, it has been gathering dust since you announced your split from Nick. It goes without saying that I root for your comeback with the same intensity as a Britney fan, but I have to ask: What were you wearing yesterday?
I admire anyone that boldly embraces new fashion trends, but as you demonstrated, high-waisted denim just isn’t for all body types, so I have been thinking about why you might not have noticed this too. Maybe Tony Romo is the kind of boyfriend that says everything looks good on you? Maybe it is stressful being a new aunt to Ashlee and Pete’s new baby, Bronx Mowgli? Maybe your personal trainer has been too busy helping Jessica Alba lose her baby weight? Maybe it just doesn’t really matter what you wear to a local-radio-sponsored chili cook off, even if you are performing and being photographed?
Whatever it is, Jess, I wanted to let you know I am willing to look past this poor choice in clothing because I believe in you, and I still hope you can get back to your pop-star days. In the meantime, if you could refrain from wrapping yourself in a too-tight cheetah print double-buckle belt, I think that might help …