The White Stripes' Jack WhiteIf it's mid-January, then it must be time for the fake Coachella lineups to begin fluttering down like so many synthetic snowflakes. A combination of pure speculation, delusion, outright lies and fifth-hand inside information from a-guy-who-knows-a-guy-who-dated-the-promoter's-cousin, the premature lineups for the fest (held April 17-19) are typically more wish list than reality, but they always make for a good laugh. (Read our roundup of other music-festival rumors here.)

As we await the actual announcement, which is reportedly due this morning on Los Angeles' KROQ FM, here's who is not playing (or not yet, officially):

Faith No More: The 1980s alt-rockers will, alas, not reform for the fest, but leader Mike Patton will perform with Rahzel the human beatbox, according to Billboard.com. So that's something.

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By Daniela Capistrano

Rapper and former Fugees producer John Forté, who was recently released halfway through a 14-year sentence, debuted a new video today called "Life Has Just Begun" along with an exclusive recount of his first day out of prison.

In "Life Has Just Begun," a cinéma vérité-style video promoting the acoustic ballad, Forté is overheard calling his mother for the first time after being released and seen reuniting with friends and family.

Along with harrowing details of his living conditions in prison, the memoir on DailyBeast.com describes his transition into a world now full of "BlackBerry addiction and iPod accessorizing." Forté recalls using his new gadgets to call "a half-dozen people who fought tirelessly in my defense over the years."

The artist was convicted in 2001 of "possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute," and after many appeals, he had his sentence commuted by President George W. Bush on December 22.

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There's no end to the comparisons being made between President Barack Obama and various historical and political figures, from the statesmanship of Lincoln and Washington and the charisma of Kennedy to the youth and charm of Clinton.

But leave it to neophyte political columnist Pete Wentz to really nail the essence of Obama: his similarity to Fugees singer-gone-rogue Lauryn Hill.

Writing in his first column for the Huffington Post on Friday, Wentz offered the offbeat assessment as he tried to digest his feelings about attending the inauguration and performing at the Youth Ball, finding his angle by comparing the presidency to the rocket ride of going from being an unknown artist to a world-famous one. Sound familiar?
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Chace Crawford has teamed up with Leona Lewis for the video for her new single, "I Will Be." In the clip, the "Gossip Girl" star and the Grammy nominee play Bonnie-and-Clyde-esque characters. Chace follows in a time-honored tradition of handsome young guys and beautiful starlets mugging for the camera as a pop star sings their heart out.


It's a tradition that everyone from Angelina Jolie (Rolling Stones' video for "Anybody Seen My Baby") to Selena Gomez (Jonas Brothers' video for "Burnin' Up") has taken part in. Here we look back on some recent celebrity cameos in some of your favorite music videos.

Milo Ventimiglia in Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry": The "Heroes" star plays Fergie's Camaro-loving boyfriend in the video. He rolls with a rough crowd and has a ponytail, so we imagine there's only so much of that the Dutchess can take.

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Jessica Simpson

We knew it was a bad idea when the Black Lips, Atlanta's (in)famous punk outfit, announced they'd be going on a short tour of India. And wouldn't you know it, the tour's been canceled midway through because the Lips did what they typically do when they perform: get crazy. In this case, lead singer Cole Alexander apparently stripped naked and jumped into the crowd, making out with fellow bandmembers in the process. This stuff typically gets them banned from clubs in the U.S., but this is India we're talking about.

A post on their blog gives all the grimy details. It reads, "We have had to flee the country of India due to having our whole tour canceled and having to escape being held by police for indecent exposure during our most rawkus set in Chennai at the Campus Rock Idol showcase.
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By Emily Donahue

Jessica SimpsonDear Jessica,

I want to start this letter off by saying that despite the past few years, I remain a fan of yours. I buy the rare magazines you grace the covers of, I can disappear for days watching "Newlyweds" marathons and, yes, I even have a copy of "Jessica Simpson I Do: Achieving Your Dream Wedding" — although I have to admit, it has been gathering dust since you announced your split from Nick. It goes without saying that I root for your comeback with the same intensity as a Britney fan, but I have to ask: What were you wearing yesterday?

Jessica Simpson

I admire anyone that boldly embraces new fashion trends, but as you demonstrated, high-waisted denim just isn't for all body types, so I have been thinking about why you might not have noticed this too. Maybe Tony Romo is the kind of boyfriend that says everything looks good on you? Maybe it is stressful being a new aunt to Ashlee and Pete's new baby, Bronx Mowgli? Maybe your personal trainer has been too busy helping Jessica Alba lose her baby weight? Maybe it just doesn't really matter what you wear to a local-radio-sponsored chili cook off, even if you are performing and being photographed?
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Much like the song it is presumably designed to promote, the video for the Killers' new single, "Spaceman," is a total disaster — and I mean that in the best way possible.

It's difficult to say just what is the weirdest thing about the new clip, which was directed by Day-Glo auteur Ray Tintori (who also did MGMT's "Time to Pretend"): The bizarre, backward-walking sorta-centaur at the beginning? The space-age wedding-cake stage loaded with dancers in unitards? The fact that it looks like the total budget was about $27?

Well, yes. But also, no. Because, after repeated (like, eight) viewings, I've determined that the most WTF thing in the "Spaceman" video is undoubtedly, without question, 100 percent Brandon Flowers' off-the-charts outfit, which appears to be made out of little more than red Lycra, gigantic shoulderpads, feathers and a codpiece (it also sort of looks like the Flash, only if the Flash were wearing sweatpants).
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By Nicole Tahan

I woke up Friday morning to a text from my mother: "Get up! Ryan Cabrera's playing near us tonight at 8!" I immediately jumped out of bed and ran out the door to drive home. Being a huge fan of Ryan, I would never pass up the opportunity to watch him play. Plus, I just heard that he finally ditched those long locks and shaved!
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Maybe the girl-pop world is taking inspiration from President Barack Obama's renewed interest in green technology, but for whatever reason, there's a lot of song recycling going on lately.

First there was Britney Spears covering "American Idol" wannabe Joanna Pacitti's "Out From Under" on her Circus album. Now comes word that the original "Idol," Kelly Clarkson, is rehashing a Katy Perry castoff for her upcoming album.
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By Steven Roberts

If you happened to look over at Kanye West's blog in the past week, you know that he had the time of his life at Paris Fashion Week. He sat front row at many of the shows. He even said he's changing his name to Martin Louis the King, Jr. And he took a lot of pictures — sort of like that girl on Facebook who constantly updates her profile with pictures from the night before.

But what's most importantly (that's a line from "Kanye's Workout Plan," not bad grammar, by the way) is that he had the chance to collaborate with Louis Vuitton and design a pair of sneakers. His kicks were even featured on the Louis Vuitton runway.

He told Dazed Digital that the sneakers were inspired by science-fiction. "They've got a sci-fi influence with this flap up at the back," West said. "It came from a scene in 'Dune' where there was this jacket with a huge collar. Also, Japanese pop art."
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