By Eric Ditzian
We've already weighed in on the best and worst Super Bowl movie ads — now, we tackle the rest.
Best
Hulu: Alec in Hollywood
Baldwin is in full Jack Donaghy mode, popping off flawless line readings, including "Hello, Earth, I'm Alec Baldwin, TV star" and "TV only softens the brain like a ripe banana." He also coins the finest, funniest description of the effects of near-constant 21st-century exposure to entertainment on TVs, computers and portable devices: "cerebral gelatinizing." To top it all off, the tagline is just so amazing — "Hulu: An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy."
Pedigree: Crazy Pets
I've had about enough with the chimps shilling for motor oil and the horses and dogs pitching beer. Finally, we get an ad in which the involvement of animals is more than a mere sight gag — not that there weren't plenty of those (Rhino in the living room! Little old lady chasing an ostrich!). But who can't get behind the cause of dog adoption? This spot brought the funny and warmed my heart long after the buffalo wings had gone cold.
Bud Light: Swedish
The whole Europeans-are-dark-and-weird comedic concept was novel when "Sprockets" debuted on "SNL" 20 years ago and seemingly jumped the shark with those recent VW "Pimp My Ride"-style spots. Yet this ad was possibly the funniest of the night. Credit goes to Conan, who donned bunny ears and crawled across a white fur rug for his bank account and our viewing pleasure. Can't say our gangly, red-haired friend convinced me about Bud Light's "drinkability," but I'm certainly looking forward to his debut on the "Tonight Show" later this year.
Worst
Pepsi: Refresh Anthem
If this is change, count me out. You're telling me that over the years we've traded Bob Dylan for Will.I.Am, lighters for cell phones during slow songs at concerts, and Gumbi for Shrek? Pepsi informs me that "every generation refreshes the world," but if this is the direction in which pop culture is headed, I'll be standing athwart history yelling, "Stop!"
Cheetos: Chester the Cheetah
What's the message here? Cheetos are for the petty, insecure woman inside us all? Pigeons will eat anything you toss on the ground? Chester the Cheetah has totally got your back, girlfriend! Remember when junk food was just junk food and not fodder for some bizarre version of social justice?
Kellogg's: Plant a Seed
Fertile soil, sprouting blades of grass and "values that last a lifetime" — is this an ad for green tech or organic farming? No, silly. We're watching corporate image-making at work as a super sugary cereal gives back to the community. Maybe you'll forget Frosted Flakes contain healthful ingredients like high-fructose corn syrup and start believing that Kellogg's is truly an altruistic company — and then go out and buy a couple of boxes.
Toyota: Killer Heat
I'm all for those "MacGyver"-esque commercials in which the truck is, like, jumping over canyons and swerving to avoid plummeting boulders while huge battle axes swing across the road — that's good action-movie entertainment. Even if no driver will ever have to pull those absurd moves, I suppose it's cool to know they're within the realm of possibility. So anyone think driving a truck slowly up a spiral, flaming ramp is exciting? This ad managed to be both ridiculous and boring as hell.
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