‘Snoop Dogg TV’: The Reason They Made The Internet Published

Yesterday, for no apparent reason other than he was stoned and had just bought a Web cam, Snoop Dogg launched his very own online show, “Snoop Dogg TV,” a mind-blowing, decidedly, uh, “free-form” series that revolves around him smoking spliffs, lounging in what appears to be someone’s rec room, and singing along to R&B tracks being played on his computer.

It is sort of insane. It is sort of compelling. And it is quite possibly the most amazing thing ever foisted on these Interwebs of ours.

So far, Snoop has broadcast four episodes of “Dogg TV” (or, more specifically, two very-long episodes broken up into four segments of indeterminate length and subject matter … usually whenever the Web cam conks out), which means that it’s not too late to get on the bandwagon before this thing turns into another Shiba Inu cam.

And to get you up to speed on what you’ve missed so far, I’ve compiled a handy episode guide, which you can read after the jump.

Episode One, “The Wake-N-Bake Show”: Opens with Snoop holding his chain in the air, clutching a baby-arm sized spliff (which he puffs on almost immediately). This goes on for several minutes, until Snoop proclaims “Obama smoke too!” and lowers the spliff to the diamond-encrusted Obama portrait on his T-shirt. He dispenses advice to various online viewers (“You gotta keep your page fresh, Lisa. Stop bulls—ting”), grooves to some of his own tunes, and spouts various nonsequiturs (“That was some weird s–t!” “We just smoke and play music!”) to no one in particular. At one point, his assistant, a white, hoodie-wearing kid named “Gucci,” wanders in and out of the frame. Compelling stuff.

Episode Two, (Apparently Also “The Wake-N-Bake Show”): This is basically just the same thing as the first “W-N-B Show,” only Snoop appears to be sitting closer to the camera.

Episode Three, “Wake-N-Bake 3″: You can sense a theme developing here. Snoop is holding a plate of what appears to be BBQ in one hand (and a blunt in the other), proclaims “I can’t eat all this s–t right here!” He hands his plate off to one of his various associates, gives a shout out to an online follower (“What’s up coney420!”) then surveys the lighting situation in the rec room and announces “We need to get some better lights in this motherf—er.” He also checks his Blackberry.

Episode Four, “Untitled:” High drama as Snoop checks his email, sings along to a tune playing on his computer. “Gucci” is screwing around with the Web cam. At one point, Snoop tells us “I’m gonna go check on the Laker game real quick, see how we doing.” He then leaves the room, and does not return for the remainder of the episode, leaving us to stare at an empty office chair. There is also a nice grandfather clock in the room.

As of 12:45 p.m. Friday, “Snoop Dogg TV” has yet to return to the air (Snoop is probably napping or something) … but when it does, rest assured I will be watching. And you should be too. The Internet is rarely this compelling. Or this insane.