In your face, moon landing! America has a new moment to cherish forever: April 17, 2009, at around 10 a.m. ET, Oprah Tweeted for the very first time.
Yes, the most powerful woman on the planet (save for Susan Boyle this week) has decided to participate in the popular microblog site Twitter, much to the delight of my mom and Ashton Kutcher (who would probably date my mom).
Her first Tweet was in all caps, Kanye-style: "HI TWITTERS. THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME FEELING REALLY 21ST CENTURY." And she quickly followed up about wanting a Reuben sandwich and vaccinating her puppy.
So far — sorry, Oprah — color us unimpressed. In order for the Big O to keep our Twitter attention, we've come up with 10 Tweets we'd looove to see posted on Oprah's Twitter account:
1. JOHN TRAVOOLLLLLLTLAAAAA!
2. My vajayjay be painin'.
3. @GayleKing last night was amazing don't tell Steadman let's go on another road trip k?
4. I think I'll buy MTV today and give everyone huge raises.
5. Nah, maybe Fuse would be a better investment.
6. Latest book club pick: DIANETICS! Tom, come back on my show. Bring Suri.
7. @Americans Look under your chairs. You're getting ur car repossessed, you're getting ur car repossessed, you're getting ur car repossessed!
8. OMG I love MTV Detox! Best web show ever!
9. Have you guys heard of Geocities? It's the future of the internet! I'm making my own page. Bookmark it.
10. I'm in the bathroom stall eating Blue Chips. I am so alone.