Parsing Prince’s Yellow Outfit At The Apollo Theater Gala

The 75th Anniversary Gala for the Apollo Theater in New York brought together Mariah Carey, Jamie Foxx, Steve Harvey, Fantasia Barrino, Bill Cosby, Quincy Jones and — perhaps most notably — Prince, who appeared on stage to help induct a handful of legendary divas into the Apollo Legends Hall of Fame. Minneapolis’ favorite son has kept his wardrobe relatively tame over the last few years, but last night he appeared in an outfit so yellow he would have been mistaken for Big Bird if he wasn’t so diminutive. There’s even more than meets the eye in this particular ensemble, so let’s take a look at the various components:

» The Shirt: What goes better with gold? Even more gold. The sleeves and buttons are trimmed with a shiny-looking gold lamé, which give the garment an even more blinding finish. Normally famous folk wear loose-fitting clothes to mask weight gain, but Prince probably does it to hide that fact that he’s even tinier than we think.

» The Glasses: Bono brought those fly-eye shades to the masses, but Prince made them amazing. Most people look aloof when they wear sunglasses indoors, but Prince manages to sidestep that. No matter what’s going on below his neck, Prince always has a cool head.

» The Necklace: Did Prince throw a luxury baby mobile around his neck? Does he always wear jewelry he stole from an art museum’s early Mesopotamian wing? Is that actually a breast plate to protect him when he goes jousting? The mind reels.

» The Walking Stick: Prince doesn’t have any trouble walking, and it’s somewhat hard to believe that he’d be carrying around a pimp stick (though perhaps he’s into some business at Paisley Park that we don’t know about). Upon closer examination, it turns out that the stick is awfully sparkly (perhaps Bedazzled?), which obviously means Prince is a wizard. (Actually, can you imagine anything more awsome than the Purple One appearing in the next “Harry Potter” movie?)

» The Pants: Okay, so maybe he’s not a wizard. But with those pants, he must have been mistaken for a genie, right?

» The Shoes: And the outfit finishes off seamlessly with high-heeled pumps that look like a cross between magic slippers and the sort of thing Brüno might be wearing during his press tour. All told, it seems like Prince should have magic powers (or at least be protecting a pot of gold), but even if he doesn’t, that doesn’t take away the majesty of “Let’s Go Crazy.”