Another Disney star is making the crossover from television into the music world. Selena Gomez, star of “Wizards of Waverly Place,” just announced that her first album will be called Kiss & Tell and will be coming out soon. Via Twitter, she also unveiled the name she has given to her band. The group will be known as the Scene. Gomez explained that it’s meant to be an ironic jab at people who throw the epithet “wannabe scene” at her.
It’s not yet clear what the album will sound like, but she is already setting herself up for a certain amount of failure, as the Scene immediately joins the ranks of the following bands in the pantheon of groups with unbelievably boring names.
The Band: It’s one thing to have the cojones to be Canadian and play American roots rock, but it’s something else entirely to give yourself that kind of moniker. The most frustrating thing is that when they first started backing up Bob Dylan, they were called the Hawks. The Hawks! That’s an incredibly simple, direct, incredibly hardcore band name. Would you rather simply be called “the Band” or be named after a cold-hearted bird of prey?
Coldplay: It must be some sort of rule in the U.K. that if you copy Radiohead in any vague way, you have to call your group a one word snooze (see Travis, Keane, Starsailor, South). But Coldplay stands above those because it manages to take two benign words and smash them together in a portmanteau. In fact, Chris Martin really should have just called his band “Portmanteau.”
Ride: Kurt Cobain always hated the fact that a lot of alternative rock bands seemed to choose the names of songs and albums based on single words that sound vaguely interesting (“Cartoon” was always the fake example he gave). Ride have nothing to do with alt-rock (they’re an excellent English shoegaze group), but it sounds like they just let a dictionary fall open and picked the first word they found.
Mr. Mister: It’s dull! It’s dull!
Live: First of all, it’s pronounced with a long vowel (so it rhymes with “jive” and not “civ”). That’s the first mistake, as using your band’s name to urge people to exist is a little pretentious but is at least purposeful. Secondly, the band admitted early on that it’s got nothing to do with playing live — it was literally a last-second replacement for the name Public Affection (which, come to think of it, is also a terrible name). The only thing worse than having a bad name is having one that is entirely arbitrary.
The Like: An excellent band for sure, but it’s rarely a good thing to saddle your band with one of the more meaningless words in the English language.
What do you think: What are the most boring band names of all time? Leave your thoughts in the comments or head over to Your.MTV.com to make your voice heard!