Fans of the NFL (and of basic human decency) are wound up today, as the news has leaked that Brett Favre will be signing with the Minnesota Vikings. Under normal circumstances, a football player signing a contract wouldn't be huge news, but this is Brett Favre. The former Green Bay Packers playmaker was on his way to immortality before he decided a few years ago to constantly tease retirement and extort other teams for huge contracts in exchange for his constantly devolving abilities. He spent last season with the New York Jets and not only failed to make the playoffs but also ran head coach Eric Mangini out of town before retiring (again). Now he's back in the league, where he'll throw a ton of interceptions, blame somebody around him and retire again before he gets the itch to be in the spotlight for another year.
If there is one thing rock stars could have taught Favre, it's that it's much better to quit while you're ahead (or burn out before you fade away, if you're a little more fatalistic). Favre should have called up Ozzy Osbourne, who had a nice little career reprieve care of "The Osbournes" and a new appreciation for Black Sabbath via Ozzfest. But that was nearly a decade ago, and watching Ozzy now only hurts his legacy. Aging rock stars like Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney can still acquit themselves just fine, but for every Bruce Springsteen there are a thousand Three Dog Nights (headlining the California State Fair!). Favre is in the twilight of his career, and there's nothing left to do but a terrible covers album. This season will be Favre's covers album, and it'll probably be as sad as the Ozzman's cover of "In My Life."