Mia Michaels Leaves ‘So You Think You Can Dance’

Mia Michaels, the contemporary choreographer with a take-no-prisoners attitude and a Woody Woodpecker-inspired haircut, announced last night that she quit “So You Think You Can Dance.” In a caps-locked message posted on her Facebook page, Michaels wrote, “It’s been an amazing five years on ‘SYTYCD.’ I thank them for all the great memories and movement I have been able to create for the world. Today was my official resignation of the U.S. show and look forward to what’s ahead for me.” A similarly-worded message appeared on her Twitter feed.

If I may speak for all “SYTYCD” fans: Noooooooooooo!

Mia was a beloved part of the show, both with the audience and the contestants. Her groundbreaking routines often pushed dancers to their limits by tapping into deep, emotional memories and stories. (Last season’s “Addiction” routine was a personal favorite of mine.) She also brought an incredible amount of buzz to “So You Think You Can Dance” with Emmy-winning routines like “The Park Bench.”

So with Mia Michaels being a free agent right now, why not give the genius choreographer some career advice? Here are five positions Mia should consider.

» Become A Judge On “Dancing With The Stars”
I can’t stand watching washed-up has-beens fumble through routines. With Mia’s intense critiques on the panel, even Macy Gray would have been whipped into shape. Just how strict is Mia Michaels? Last season she told the eventual runner-up that she “couldn’t stand him” three times in just two days. Your move, Simon Cowell.

» Become President Of The Celine Dion Fan Club
Mia is obsessed with Celine Dion. She used her music three times during her “SYTYCD” career (not terribly surprising, considering Mia choreographed Dion’s Vegas show). There’s no other person more qualified to get paid to obsess over Canada’s favorite songbird (except perhaps Celine herself).

» Join An A Cappella Group
When she choreographs, Mia doesn’t count beats — she makes “whoosh” noises like an infant. Since beat-boxing and onomatopoeia are important elements in college a cappella arrangements, Mia should move to Massachusetts so she can fulfill her destiny of becoming the first female Tufts Beelzelbub.

» Film A PSA About Cutting
This past summer, Mia Michaels uttered the instantly-quotable phrase, “I’m a cutter. I love cutting!” Granted, she was talking about cutting contestants from the show, but still, who better to talk to teenagers about the dangers of cutting oneself than “The Cutter”? Allison Iraheta could co-host.

» Be My Best Friend
Seriously, Mia Michaels. I love you. Be my friend. We would have so much fun together. I’d even let you listen to Celine CDs when we hung out. That’s how much I love you. You can find me on Twitter.

What do you think Mia Michaels should do? Will you stop watching “So You Think You Can Dance” now that she’s gone? And do you think Sonja Tayeh is secretly happy that she’s now the only “kooky” choreographer left on the show? Leave your thoughts in the comments!