By Eric Ditzian
David Letterman's getting gleefully nasty about his longtime foe Jay Leno. Jimmy Kimmel pasted on a fake chin and lambasted Leno for his willingness to destroy "The Tonight Show." Conan popped off a press release so amazing it should be encased in glass at studied at graduate programs, then followed it up with a scathing bit in which he compared his competitor to an elderly ho.
Yup, things are not going well for Jay at the moment. No surprise, then, that folks in his camp are beginning to hint that their guy might walk away from NBC as well.
"They have put Jay in a terrible position," an anonymous insider told PopEater.com. "It looks like he is the reason that Conan is now without a job. Jay is a great guy and it's not fair that due to NBC's stupidity he looks like the bad guy."
So what's Leno's next move? Does he stay put, hop to another network or ditch the public airwaves entirely? Let's take a look.
Return to "The Tonight Show"
Pros: Everyone knows Leno never wanted to ditch "The Tonight Show" and, according to the geniuses at NBC, only Jaw Jaw Binks can helm the 11:35 slot. Leno can plop back into the chair Conan has kept warm for him these past seven months, start body slamming Letterman in the ratings again and pretend that whole "Jay Leno Show" nightmare never happened.
Cons: Kick Conan out? Is Leno crazy? Who besides my grandpa is on his side at this point? Forget about the fact that Conan's talent agency handles half of Hollywood. The other half would avoid Leno like the plague for his act of sabotage. "Tonight" would become a toxic venue.
Do "The Jay Leno Show" at 11:35
Pros: Jay would free himself from NBC's primetime wasteland and settle back in at the true soft spot of the late-night schedule. He'll also win at least some plaudits for not commandeering "Tonight." With dramas back on the NBC schedule at 10 p.m., Leno's show will receive the ratings bump Conan's never did. Ratings and time slot win!
Cons: Does Leno have no respect whatsoever for the most enduring franchise in the history of late-night TV? Is he willing to transform "Tonight" into "Tomorrow" when it airs at 12:05 a.m.? You hear that sound? It's Jack Paar and Johnny Carson rising from the dead to gnaw on Leno's me-me-me-wired brain tissue.
Head to Vegas
Pros: Leno had a historic run at the helm of "Tonight." He might not be at his high point right now, but if he sticks around at NBC, his reputation stands to suffer greatly. Leno has famously continued to perform his stand-up and could settle in with a permanent show in Las Vegas (with a record-setting, bajillion-dollar contract, of course) and let the crowds come to him.
Cons: Could Leno tuck his chin between his legs and scamper off to a glorified night club and let NBC win? He doesn't want to be known as the guy that was not only driven out of primtime but out of Hollywood entirely.
Launch an ABC or Fox Show
Pros: Leno said it himself when this scandal first broke last week: "Fox is beautiful this time of year." And ABC was rumored to be wooing the 59-year-old before NBC locked him into the 10 p.m. slot. Leno could flee the sinking ship that is NBC and launch a new voyage on a rival network. If both he and Conan left, how screwed would NBC be? What self-respecting comedian would take over "Tonight"?
Cons: As we made clear earlier in the week, Fox is one step up from your parents' basement on the late-night show scale of success and exposure. And do you thinking displacing Kimmel instead of Conan will do anything for Leno's public image? If anything, screwing not one but two youth-minded late-night hosts might doom Leno to a place in America's heart alongside Balloon Boy's dad.