By Eric Ditzian
When's the last time the late-night shows were truly appointment viewing? The schoolyard-style throwdown between Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno and their fellow hosts — with the American public cheering in a circle around them — has made all of nighttime comedy relevant in a way it might never have been before. All week long, the hosts have been ripping jokes at one another's expense and often getting ripped in the public discourse. Let's take a look at how each one did.
Conan O'Brien: A
Beware the wrath of a comedian scorned. Coco is a man unleashed. Let us count the ways. First: The greatest press release in the history of press releases. Second: "Leave television altogether and work in a classier business with better people, like hard core porn." Third: Kenneth the Page. The list goes on, and it only gets funnier and more anger-inducing.
Public opinion is undoubtedly on his side. From Rosie O'Donnell to Ricky Gervais to every human under the age of 35, who hasn't joined Team Conan? Though it couldn't come under worse circumstances, this week has been Conan's finest since he took over "The Tonight Show." Too bad it looks like it'll be one of his last.
Jay Leno: D
Leno was at risk of flunking this week's late-night test until he took the admittedly ballsy move of letting Jimmy Kimmel come on his show Thursday night. Sure Jay got ripped to shreds and couldn't offer up even the weakest rejoinder to Kimmel's barbs, but at least he had the guts to see the segment through.
The last few days have been brutal for Chinny McGimmeMyShowBack. The world has generally decided Leno has no respect whatsoever for the most enduring franchise in the history of late-night TV. And he hasn't even been able to be very funny about the situation. On Thursday's show, he went so far as to play the victim, seeming to forget he got killed in the ratings for years until Hugh Grant decided he was into hookers.
David Letterman: B
Letterman has assumed a sort of elder statesman role in this whole mess, speaking the truth about money, greed, deception and his distaste for both his longtime nemesis Leno and his former network NBC. While Dave's jokes have been amusing — "I thought this was nice: President Obama invited Jay and Conan to the White House for a beer" — they were simply that: jokes. Letterman hasn't stepped his game up, drawing upon years of bitter feelings, nearly as much as we hoped we might.
Jimmy Kimmel: A-
On Tuesday, Kimmel spent his show actually dressed up like his gray-haired adversary, announcing, "Hello, I'm Jay Leno, and I'm taking over all the shows in late night." The impression was kinda terrible, but it was perfectly timed and drove home the point that the collective audience has turned on Leno.
So Kimmel was running at about a B+ until Thursday night's appearance on "The Jay Leno Show." Asked to name the best prank he ever pulled on someone, Kimmel responded, "I told a guy that five years from now, I'm going to give you my show, and then I gave it to him and took it back almost instantly. I think he works at Fox or something now." Though Jay was obviously serving up softballs ripe for put-downs, kudos to Jimmy for knocking every single one of them out of the park. That's honors-level work, Mr. Kimmel.
Jimmy Fallon: B
Fallon has essentially taken the high road, which is both admirable and somewhat disappointing. Reportedly tickled just to have a show, Fallon seemed like he'd have been fine to air his at 3 a.m. on public access TV just as long as he kept his office at 30 Rock. But on our report card, Jimmy finds himself in the meaty part of the curve because of Thursday's Neil Young-inspired rendition of "Pants on the Ground." Did it have anything to do with the late show kerfuffle? No! Was it the best bit aired on any show all week? Yes!
Carson Daly: Incomplete
Alas, the man who seemed like he would lose his show entirely because of the reshuffling of NBC's late-night schedule didn't get to join in any of the fun. His show's on hiatus and won't return until next month. Meanwhile, NBC brass and Carson's late night cohorts savaged him with equal parts disdain and disregard.
What do you think? Who came out looking the best this week? Let us know in the comments, tweet us @mtvnews or head over to Your.MTV.com to make your voice heard!