Iamamiwhoami Makes Contact, Sends MTV News A Package

On Friday afternoon (March 5), at approximately 4 p.m., I received a thin brown envelope marked with no return address, no stamps … no nothing, except my name typed on the front. When it was delivered to my desk, I jokingly asked the mailroom guy if he knew what it was. He just shrugged and left, though he did appear to be sufficiently creeped out.

As it turns out, he had good reason to be. Because when I opened the envelope, out fell a knot of human hair, a few splinters of what appeared to be balsa wood, and a single strip of paper, bearing the animals featured in the ongoing “Iamamiwhoami” viral campaign. I just sat there for a second, holding the items in my hand, half wondering if I should get a pair of latex gloves and send them down to CSI for analysis. It was a little terrifying, to be honest.

But then I realized something: Iamamiwhoami had made contact with me, had sent me a package proving that he/she is very real (and very spooky). I am sort of honored. And sort of frightened, too. It’s not the first time Iam … has reached out to me, it’s just the most tangible. The hair looks identical to the wig worn by the muck-covered heroine of the online series, and the paper — or, codex, since we’re clearly in “DaVinci Code” territory now — is clearly some sort of puzzle. It taunts me to answer it. So far, I am coming up empty.

I’ve included photos here, in the hopes that perhaps you can help me crack the case. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I called down to the mailroom, and they have no idea who sent the envelope. It was delivered by a messenger service, and someone signed for it, but the “sender” field was left blank. The mystery continues … now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash my hands 1,000 times and curl up under my desk.