"The Office" star Creed Bratton, who also happens to have a new album called Bounce Back with his band the 3DVB's, stopped by the MTV News offices on Friday where he dazzled us with tales about his music and "The Office" and even obliged us with his interpretation of Pauly D's voicemail for his, um, stalker last season on the "Jersey Shore." So before the second season of MTV's hit show kicks off this summer, allow Creed to take you back to a simpler time last season.
(And for those who aren't familiar, here's the setup: Pauly met a girl at bar who he liked — until she kept showing up while he was hanging on the boardwalk with some other girls. Cue the greatest phone conversation of the entire season. Also we've transcribed the entire voicemail below so that you can play along at home!)
"It's my turn to talk. It's my turn to talk," Pauly told her. "You stalked my whole entire life, right, and I don't like that. I do nothing wrong and you — I'm talking now! — you know how I felt about you. You just have no trust whatsoever. So you thought I was creeping with those chicks, which I wasn't. I went on one ride — God bless me, it's f---ing summer! Yes, I was upstairs on the balcony with three chicks — and three dudes. Did I do anything? No! All we did is have a conversation. That's it. All those girls have boyfriends. If you weren't such a f---ing stalker, I would have called you when I got home. Instead — yes you are, it's crazy, I can't deal with that. You don't want to look stupid? Don't you think that makes you look stupid? You're like, 'I'm not calling you.' You called, like, a hundred times. How many times did you call? We took the phone off the hook last night. All I wanted to do is call you when I got home so we could hang out. You wouldn't let that happen. You were so worried about how you're gonna look because people see me walking with three girls that, 'Oh my god, blah blah, I don't want to look stupid.' Well, now look how stupid you look."
What do you think of Creed's take on the Pauly D voicemail?