Lady Gaga’s Future Tours: What’s Left?

On Monday night (June 28), Lady Gaga kicked off the latest leg of her epic Monster Ball tour at the Bell Centre in Montreal. In typical Gaga fashion, her worldwide trek started out intensely theatrical and has only gotten larger since, with new elements added all the time. While her production didn’t include any corpses (as was rumored a few days ago), it did include the following: A new song (the piano ballad “You and I”), a flaming piano, an outfit that recalled Missy Elliott in the video for “The Rain,” keytars, a fountain that gushed blood, an evil angler fish, a harpist, a leopard-print one-piece and an actual disco stick. (And that was just the stuff that MTV News’ James Montgomery was able to keep up with.) It appears as though the latest leg of the Monster Ball is just as can’t-miss as the previous iterations.

But what does Gaga do for an encore? Eventually, she’ll have to keep kicking it up a notch, but what is left for her to do on stage? Here are five suggestions.

Make A Landmark Disappear
Since Gaga’s shows employ a great deal of spectacular effects, why not put those resources and that budget to good use with a little arena-sized magic? Like David Copperfield before her, Gaga should make the Statue of Liberty disappear in the middle of her New York show. But it shouldn’t end there, as she should make a new landmark vanish in every city she visits. Liberty Bell? Gone. Hollywood Sign? See ya. Mount Rushmore? Into the ether. It also allows for built-in drama, as it can be mysterious as to whether or not she is able to bring them back at the end of the show (but they’re always hiding under her wig or something).

Teleportation
Gaga does a lot of moving around with the assistance of catwalks, but what if she could magically appear throughout the venue in the blink of an eye? Jeff Goldblum was close to perfecting this technology in the David Cronenberg film “The Fly,” so just as long as no insects (or Little Monsters) accidentally get in the way, this plan should make for even more thrilling and unpredictable shows.

Maritime Concerts
In ancient Rome, the Emperor would sometimes fill coliseums with water in order to stage competitive naval battles for his amusement. It’d be an insurance nightmare, but Gaga should do the same. Flood the venue she is in, then perform the entire show floating on top (or submerged in some sort of Atlantis-esque bubble). Think of how many sea creatures she could introduce into the surroundings!

Front The Supergroup To End All Supergroups
Remember when Beck recruited the Flaming Lips to be his backing band on a tour? Gaga’s approach would be just like that, except she’d have a staggering dream team at her back. There should be six or seven guitarists (including but not limited to Keith Richards, Eddie Van Halen, Jimmy Page, Slash, Josh Homme, Pearl Jam’s Mike McCready and Buddy Guy), Paul McCartney on bass, a handful of people on keys (including Elton John, Tori Amos, Stevie Wonder and Ben Folds) and whatever drummers she wants (including the reanimated versions of Keith Moon and John Bonham). Does she need somebody to play the harp? Bring in Joanna Newsom. Want a cellist? Let’s get Yo-Yo Ma. The possibilities are endless.

Just Stage Mozart’s “Don Giovanni”
Because you know she wants to.

What do you think Lady Gaga should do to kick her concerts up a notch? Let us know in the comments!