‘Jersey Shore’ By The Numbers: Banging, Smashing And Getting It In

Whether you call it banging, smushing, smashing or getting it in, sex was on the mind of everyone on “Jersey Shore” on Thursday (September 23). Even more so than usual, if such a thing is possible.

Angelina declined to bang José, even though she smushed Vinny last episode. The Situation found a girl who was down to smash, only to lose her at the club and find her the next day (thanks to a classy note pasted on the gate outside their crib). JWoww and her boyfriend were in the midst of getting it in, when Snooki decided to play footsie with them. And so on.

Call it what you will, this episode was all about S-E-X. That’s the first thing our latest “Jersey Shore by the Numbers” graph tells us. It also informs us Angelina has a bit of a hygiene problem (“Pad/tampon”), JWoww and Snooki take their cuticles super seriously (“Nail appointment”) and the boys have no end of creative lingo (and catchy singalongs) for their pre-club wardrobe routine (“T-shirt time”).

What else went down? There was GTL and there was DTF. Boobs were exposed, flowers were re-gifted, Angelina was declared “a loosey goose” and bedroom matinees were vigorously enjoyed. And one woman at the laundromat left us with the unforgettable phrase, “No ropa for Situation.”

“If you don’t do laundry, you ain’t got no clothing,” Senor Situation declared. Indeed. And if you don’t obsesses over the cast’s favorite words and phrases, well, you’re missing out.