On Monday (January 10), hip kids nationwide rejoiced when the first “official” (read: totally fake) Coachella lineup hit the Internet, an annual event which, for folks like us in the frigid Northeast, is on par with complaining about snow or growing a semi-ironic beard: You can set your watch to it.
This year’s supposed Coachella lineup features headliners like Kanye West, Pulp (who, truth be told, probably will play the fest), Arcade Fire, Beastie Boys and Duran Duran, plus a bunch of smaller bands we’re either marginally aware of (Warpaint) or have never heard of in our entire lives (io Echo), which is to say, it’s actually a pretty convincing fake. But given the fact that this kind of thing happens every single year, not to mention the fact that, when we asked a spokesperson for Goldenvoice (Coachella’s organizers), we were told “[There's] no word just yet on an official announcement,” we’re remaining skeptical.
But truth be told, being skeptical isn’t that much fun. So, inspired by the annual kickoff of the “speculation season,” we decided to create our own totally bogus Coachella lineup, partially because we just learned how to use Photoshop but also because our completely fabricated lineup holds just as much weight as the other completely fabricated one. Like George Costanza once said: “Remember … it’s not a lie if you believe it.”
So here’s a look at our totally fake Coachella 2011 lineup. If you ask us, it’s a pretty stellar lineup, especially when you consider Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band have never played a live show. Tickets go on sale February 1, with three-day passes running $1,000 (camping passes extra). Start saving now!
Who would you like to see at this year’s Coachella? Let us know in the comments!