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'Jersey Shore' By The Numbers: An Apology, An Arrest And Seabiscuit

Posted 1/18/11 10:30 am EST by Eric Ditzian in Television


There are many, many things the kids on "Jersey Shore" can get away with (offering your first date a chance to pick out her post-club, pre-sex PJs before you two even go out, for example) that us mere mortals would never be able to pull off. But let it be known henceforth: If you guzzle Long Island Iced Tea in the middle of the afternoon, collapse drunkenly on the beach in front of hundreds of onlookers and then curse at a couple of cops, you're going to be arrested!

Hear that, Snooki? Language, like behavior, has consequences — even on reality TV. Anyone who's been reading "Jersey Shore by the Numbers" knows that. In any event, Monday's (January 17) special edition of the hit show finally told the story behind Snickers' arrest last July for disorderly conduct in Seaside Heights. Her shenanigans certainly were entertaining — "I'm a f--king good person," she slurred to the po-po — but when you begin to think you're invincible when you're merely wasted, there is cause for concern. Even her roomies (no strangers to boozy tirades themselves ) are worried. Will "Jersey Shore" shortly go the way of "Intervention"?

It's anybody's guess. There's no doubting the cast looks out for one another. Last night, the Situation attempted to steer Ronnie away from what is objectively a toxic relationship. Vinny helped Pauly D escape from the reappearance of his wackadoodle first-season stalker, an unhappy lass who tossed a drink in his face at Karma. And Sammi, at long last, finally apologized to Snooki for everything that went down in Miami.

Oh, and keeping an ignoble streak alive, Snooks once again referenced her genitals. Vinny's too, which she has dubbed "Seabiscuit" and which Vin declined to let her touch, leading Snooki to declare, "Stop caring and f--- me man!" Is anyone surprised she ended up in the drunk tank by episode's end?

Tags DJ Pauly D, Jersey Shore, Sammi Sweetheart, Snooki, The Situation

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