By Nuzhat Naoreen
In case you haven't already heard the news, "Jersey Shore" is headed to Italy next season. This is obviously amazing for many reasons, but what we're most excited about is watching our favorite guidos and guidettes trying to navigate the Italian language. After all, how else are they going to call for cabs, go grocery shopping for their Sunday dinners or perhaps, most importantly, hit on people while fist-pumping the night away in clubs? Considering how loose their English is, it will be fascinating to see them attempt to navigate Italian.
We know it won't be easy for the cast to pick up Italian on such short notice (though Pauly D suggested that he might "get a Rosetta Stone"), so we put together a handy phrase book translating some of their favorite words and phrases.
Grenade: Italy is full of beautiful women, but just in case our boys run into someone not so pleasant ones we figured it was important for them to know that the new grenade is granata (which means that when Pauly sounds his grenade whistle, he'll actually be blowing his fischio di granata).
T-Shirt Time: One of the best catch phrases of the show is undoubtedly Pauly D's prolonged call to put on 100 percent cotton shirts. But if he really wants to be authentic, he's going to have to yell una maglietta tempo whenever the cabs arrive.
GTL: We're looking forward to watching the cast hit the gyms, laundromats and tanning salons of Italy, but if they're ever going to make it there they need to know the right terminology. Gym? Try palestra. Laundry? More like lavanderia. Tan? That would be tintarella. In other words, it's not GTL, it's PLT.
DTS: If the guys are ever DTS with an Italian girl, they're going to need to know that "down to snuggle" in Italian is verso il basso a rannicchiarsi (or VIBAR, which actually sounds pretty cool).
Cabs: We've got no doubt that the guys and girls of the "Shore" will be partying hard in Italy, but to get to the clubs they've got to know that they won't be hailing a cab, they'll be hailing a cabine.
Situation: Possibly one of our most favorite translations yet. We can't wait to see Mike lift up his T-shirt, show off his abs, and say "Now that's a situazione."
Of course, they'll probably have a helpful translator (or Uncle Nino) to help them through the countryside, but no matter what, it should be an adventure — or rather, an avventura.
What are you most excited to see when the "Jersey Shore" cast heads to Italy? Let us know in the comments!