OK, "American Idol." Time to pack it up. No need to bother going through the rest of season 10. As far as "Idol" producers are concerned, we have met our next champion and her name is Lauren Alaina.
The first 52 minutes of Thursday night's (January 27) Nashville audition episode — filled with quarreling ex-lovers, former Donald Trump trophy teens and far too many "delusional" people who were obviously in on the joke — was like that one time in '97 when I went to see Blur and they had their friend's terrible band open for them so that they looked amazing by comparison.
Like Blur, there was no need for the weighted build up to the headliner. Truth is, Lauren Alaina's voice was the first one this season to make me cock my head sideways (a la Little Forrest Gump) and make my arm hairs tingle. She demonstrated control and conveyed emotion like a seasoned pro during Faith Hill's "Like We Never Loved at All." Then she naturally bantered with a misty-eyed J. Lo, quipping, "You're too pretty to cry!" Was she created in an "Idol" test tube or what?
Alaina even came equipped with a heart-tugging past. Her main inspiration, cousin Holly, is battling a brain tumor. Even more tragic? Her main hair inspiration is Ke$ha, judging from the crunchy rat's nest that sat atop her pretty little head. Perhaps most tragic? Her dress inspiration was the B-52's Cosmic Thing album cover. Somebody needed to bang bang bang on the door, baby, and tell Lauren that fluorescent psychedelia ain't happening for her.
(I feel like such a jerk for blatantly mocking a bubbly 15-year-old's fashion sense. Why did you have to make my job so dang difficult with this new lowered age limit, Nigel Lythgoe?)
But oh, that voice! Lythgoe has been openly campaigning for this girl on Twitter, saying her pipes are better than Kelly Clarkson's. With her Southern roots, twang and blond hair, I leaped to Carrie Underwood (if former "Idol" winner comparisons had to be made). But, as a commenter on MJ's Big Blog astutely pointed out, Alaina also has "a big spoonful of [Kellie] Pickler warmth and a dollop of Jordin's youthful enthusiasm." Ding ding ding!
I could have done without the "spur of the moment" Steven Tyler duet, and I definitely rolled my eyes as Tyler gushed to cameras that they "may have found the one." The pimping is getting old already, sure. But aren't you at least happy that you don't feel lied to when the show claims she was the best they saw out of 17,000 Nashville hopefuls?
The other judges' fave, 28 year old Jackie Wilson, was more of a head-scratcher to me. Read More...



