A few months ago, Charlie Sheen was the star of “Two and a Half Men,” a gigantic hit in CBS that is the top-rated comedy on all of network television. Sheen himself was the highest-paid actor on TV, raking in nearly two million dollars per episode (and there’s no telling how much he earns in syndication deals, as the show is constantly in rotation in reruns). But all that seems to have slipped away, as CBS shockingly shut down production on “Two and a Half Men” (which was supposed to resume shooting next week) following Sheen’s rant against the show’s creator (which capped a weeks-in-the-making tumble that saw Sheen leave the show, land in the hospital, check into rehab, leave rehab and generally make a nuisance of himself for the show’s producers).
Even though Sheen is telling people he’ll be reporting to work next week, the shutdown seems serious, which is why the actor will have a lot of free time on his hands over the next few months. So once he returns from his current vacation in the Bahamas, what’s a rich but out-of-work actor to do? Here are a few suggestions.
Actually Produce “Sheen’s Corner”
In a series of text messages sent to Radar Online, Sheen said he was working on a deal with HBO to produce a show called “Sheen’s Corner,” which is apparently a late night style talk and comedy show. “It will be epic, all types of guests, and we will focus on the truth and the absurd,” he wrote. However, HBO denies the existence of any sort of deal. That shouldn’t matter, because Sheen is rich enough to completely self-finance and shop around a version of “Sheen’s Corner,” which would hopefully involve him simply talking to famous friends and strippers he just met.
Curate An Extremely Expensive Fantasy Baseball League
Spring training is underway and the baseball season kicks off at the beginning of April, which means that fantasy baseball will be kicking into gear soon. Sheen has experience playing baseball players (he was the star of a pair of “Major League” films), so why not become the commissioner of an extremely high-stakes fantasy league? The buy-in would be $1.5 million, with $100,000 transaction fee. Ironically, it would be too rich for most baseball players to participate (though that probably wouldn’t stop Alex Rodriguez). Actually, that leads to another idea.
Join The New York Yankees
They could use a pitcher, and Sheen is currently “addicted to winning.”
Go On The Road With Motörhead
The loudest, most reliable rock band in the world is on the road supporting its latest album The Wörld Is Yours. Frontman Lemmy Kilmister is perhaps the only star in the world who can go toe-to-toe with Sheen as far as partying goes.
Stay On The Beach With His “Goddesses”
Because quite frankly, that seems like an excellent alternative to working.
What do you think Charlie Sheen should do now that “Two and a Half Men” has been shut down? Let us know in the comments!