Language, like expensive watches and male pattern baldness, is passed down from generation to generation. After Thursday night’s (February 24) episode of “Jersey Shore,” we finally know why Ronnie seemingly begins and ends every sentence with “bro”: his dad!
Ron Ron Sr. (regardless of his actual first name, that’s what we’re gonna dub him) may not have cartoonish muscles and a twitchy sort of aggression like his son, but they do have in common a preference for “Yo bro”-ing this and “Listen bro”-ing that. Let’s hope that after his dad’s emergency visit to Seaside Heights to ease Ronnie’s Sammi-induced heartbreak, the young reality star takes the advice to heart and expands his emotional vocabulary beyond painting Sam as a selfish nutjob.
Anything’s possible! Snooki and Deena, for example, somehow didn’t realize the Situation was pulling a prank and sending their cab to Times Square instead of a local Jersey hotspot. The trip to NYC takes about an hour and half; good looking out, ladies! And Pauly D managed to nail the problem with so much reality-show drama when he began faux-storming around the house and shouting, “Well, I’m mad at you for being mad at me!”
Well, maybe not anything’s possible. Vinny still resisted Snooki’s wish to smush, smash or otherwise get it in this season. The duo opted instead strictly for cuddling, not necessarily because Snooks had declared just hours before, after a one-night stand, “My vagina’s killing me.” That’s what happens when you start palling around with half the dudes in Seaside, all of whom, it seems, are either cousins, or friends of cousins, or cousins of friends, or whatever.
It was an icky, sticky episode. And we haven’t even talked about Vinny’s ongoing battle with the un- uncloggable toilet. Hey, how about we don’t go there? How about we push on with another edition of “Jersey Shore by the Numbers”?