Dear Kanye West: Why Stop At Dark Twisted Scarves?


Through reports of varying degrees of reliability, news broke Tuesday that Kanye West is collaborating with a Parisian design firm on a series of ultra-limited edition scarves, “inspired by his 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

Now, whether or not said news is actually true is merely an afterthought … after all, this is Kanye West. Designing scarves. Truth is secondary. And while it’s not exactly West’s first foray into the world of fashion — he’s previously interned at Fendi and has designed footwear for Luis Vuitton and Nike — needless to say, we’re still pretty pumped to pick up one of the accouterments (which will only be available from the Colette boutique in Paris or via MMParis.com).

But since the scarves are so limited — just 250 will be made — we’re not sure we’ll be able to snag one ourselves. Which is why we’ve decided to come up with a list of other possible Dark Twisted Fantasy-themed accessories West could also design, because, really, everyone deserves a little piece of Yeezy.

» Fire-retardant Phoenix legwarmers.

» Fat-booty Celine Dion Spanx.

» Something f—ing ridiculous, like a hat that’s also a radio or something.

» “Ghetto University” letterman jackets.

» Gil Scott-Heron signature edition Nike Dunks.

» “Maliboo-ya!” insulated Thermos set.

» That watch Twista had on in The Source.

» Knock-off Nicki Minaj London Fog trench coats, to go with her accent.

» Official Justin Vernon beard-and-flannel dress-up kit.

» Actual p—y sarcophagi.