By Zachary Swickey
Great news, cultural anthropologists: The 2011 Gathering of the Juggalos is just around the corner, and this year, it looks like it's going to be bigger (and slightly more terrifying) than ever!
Or at least that's what we're gathering from the epic infomercial the Insane Clown Posse just unveiled for this year's Gathering, a "Star-Wars" themed mini-movie that features "Hatchet Happenings" correspondents Sweet Sugar Slam, DJ Clay and, uh, Vanilla Ice wearing alien makeup and shouting a lot (and, it should be noted, when he's screaming lines like "We talkin' about good times and hard rhymes, motherf----!" Ice's commitment to the role approaches Daniel Day-Lewis levels of intensity), not to mention the lineup itself, which, no lie, is actually pretty amazing.
Sure, there's the usual assortment of creatively-named Psychopathic Records acts on the bill (Twiztid, Boondox, Blaze Ya Dead Homie) and a weekend-capping performance from ICP themselves, but it's the artists on the undercard — Busta Rhymes, Mystikal, Tech N9ne, DJ Quick, Juvenile (!), Ice Cube (!!) and George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars (!!!) — that have us genuinely pumped.
Throw in the likes of Brian Posehn, Harland Williams, and a bunch of wrestlers like "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and the Iron Sheik on the comedy stage (and seriously, who doesn't want to watch wrestlers do stand-up?) and the existence of Gathering-only events like "dangerous and terrifying helicopter rides with a presumably drunk pilot," oil wrestling, a "Miss Juggalette" contest and, best of all, tryouts for ICP's Juggalo Wrestling Championship, and, honestly, we're seriously considering plunking down the $175 for the four-day event, which will once again invade Cave-in-Rock, Illinois on August 11-14.
Like the infomercial proudly proclaims, "Experiencing love like this is worth one-thousand times the price of admission alone," and we sort of agree with that statement. Now, if ICP could only do something about all the poo-flinging, we'd be there in a second.