It’s a big day in Milwaukee, and not just because Festa Italiana kicks into high gear.
No, it’s because Friday is also Bon Iver Day in the Brew City, thanks to an official proclamation from mayor Tom Barrett. It’s quite an honor for the Wisconsin-born Justin Vernon, one bestowed upon him in part because — as Barrett’s proclamation, uh, proclaims — “Bon Iver’s music embraces Justin Vernon’s Wisconsin heritage, as he has become an international ambassador for both Milwaukee and Wisconsin.”
And while there’s no word on just how the city plans on commemorating the day (Vernon will kick off his national tour later tonight with a sold-out show at Milwaukee’s Riverside Theatre), we’d like to think they’ve lined-up a series of Bon Iver-centric events. But just in case they haven’t, well, we’ve gone ahead and done it for them.
Here’s how we hope Milwaukee plans on celebrating Bon Iver Day.
» Mayor Barrett to read decree establishing official pronunciation of “Bon Iver.”
» First-annual huckleberry-pie eating contest, to be followed by first-annual “cleansing of the beards.”
» A good old fashioned Flannel Off.
» Vernon to meet with 15th District Alderman Willie L. Hines, the only person in America yet to hear the whole “recorded an album in a cabin in the woods” story.
» Milwaukee’s Best to be re-christened “Milwaukee’s Beth/Rest.” However, in keeping with tradition, it will remain lousy.
» Recently acquired Brewers’ closer Francisco Rodriguez will ceremoniously walk Vernon on four pitches.