It’s time for a confession – we’re just not that into “Twilight.” It’s not that we’re haters or anything; it’s just that it’s not our scene. We like our vampires dark and scary not teenaged and angsty. That said, we’re totally into Kristen Stewart and wish the series well.
So we’re a bit distressed to hear that our girl Kristen gets chewed up – literally! – in “Breaking Dawn – Part 1.” When we heard that Robert Pattinson’s Edward is forced to quite literally chew a fetus out of Bella when a scalpel can’t penetrate the placenta, we freaked out a little bit. That sounds insane!
From MTV Movies Blog:
“Conan the Barbarian”
As if we needed any more evidence that Ron Perlman is the coolest dude on earth, he swoops in out of nowhere to perform a mid-battle cesarean on his wounded wife. Then he holds little Conan above his head like he just scored the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl and is gonna spike the kid on the ground.
This one’s gross only in that we didn’t see it coming. Not for a second did we assume Judd Apatow would train his camera on Katherine Heigl’s stunt vagina. But he did. And we were left thinking the audience — to tweak what Jay Baruchel had declared minutes earlier in the movie — shouldn’t have gone in there.
It’s not enough that this woman asexually reproduced and is carrying her baby outside her body thanks to the deranged ministrations of her psychotherapist? She then has to grasp her mutant dwarf baby and lick it clean of blood, placenta and who knows what else? No, for David Cronenberg, it was not nearly enough.
In what can only be described as Cronenberg’s effort to out-Cronenberg himself after “The Brood,” the director has poor Geena Davis — terrified that she would give birth to a mutant freak after Jeff Goldblum impregnated her — dream that she is giving birth to a huge bloody larva worm thing.
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