Witch Arrives To Snatch Blue Ivy As Payment For Beyonce’s Fame

The Onion decided to have a little bit of fun with all of the ridiculous rumors surrounding Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s baby girl Blue Ivy Carter and is breaking news that the evil witch Grisora has come to claim the superstar’s first born as payment for Beyonce’s perfect singing voice 15 years ago.

Here’s how it all went down:

“When Beyonce was a young girl, she met a magical witch named Grisora in the woods while gathering berries and Grisora told Beyonce she would make her sing with the unmatched beauty of a thousand nightingales in return for her first born child,” gossip columnist Bryan Spees tells “StarFix.”

It seems Grisora has been keeping tabs on Bey and was even in the front row at the VMAs when she revealed her pregnancy (a tough ticket to get, Bryan notes) and even though Jay-Z offered her a room full of gold to go away, Grisora would not be dissuaded.

Take a little breather from all the Blue ivy craziness and watch the Onion‘s clip below:


Blue Ivy Taken By Evil Witch Who Gave Beyoncé Her Beautiful Singing Voice