The good-time girls from the conservative group One Million Moms are very upset that Ellen DeGeneres, beloved talk show host and least offensive person on the planet, is the new face of J.C. Penny. The group, a project of the American Family Association, which according to GLAAD has been designated as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, just doesn't know what to do with itself now that a lesbian, gasp, will represent their favorite mid-priced clothing purveyor.
"Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families," reads a statement on One Million Moms' website. "DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families that shop at their store. The majority of JC Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there."
We're sure they will.
It's not really all that surprising that these kill joys are behind the anti-Ellen campaign. After all, they were clutching their pearls when Ben & Jerry's announced last year that they'd created a flavor called "Schweddy Ball," in honor of the famous "Saturday Night Live" skit featuring Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy, who makes up a fictional treat called "Schweddy Balls" for the ladies of the fictitious National Public Radio program "Delicious Dish."
Naturally, they tried to boycott the flavor. These people. Read on for more and to watch "SNL's" "Scweddy Balls" skit, you know, just because.
In a statement, GLAAD Senior Director of Programs and Communications Herndon Graddick said, "While designated hate groups try to start ‘culture wars,’ it’s clear that a vast majority of Americans today support Ellen as well as their LGBT friends and family members. Selecting an out performer who has inspired and entertained millions, is not only a smart business practice, but a reflection of how LGBT Americans today are an integral and valued part of the fabric of our culture.”
The gay rights organization has even started a petition in support of DeGeneres, which you can find at http://www.glaad.org/standupforellen.