Ladies And Gentlemen, Charlize Theron Has A Sex Tape! (Video)

Like Scarlett Johansson, Blake Lively and Christina Hendricks before her, Charlize Theron is in the throes of a scandal caused by hackers … and this time the dreaded cell phone jackers hit the lottery with their discovery of a full-on, ultra crazy sex tape starring the Oscar winner, which they’ve leaked online!

Say it with me: OMG!

“Oh my God, I’m so nervous. I’ve never made a sex tape before,” Theron coos to the camera. “I hope nobody sees this that’s not supposed to see this.”

“Move over Paris and Kim cause I’m into some real kinky s**t,” she continues, commanding her bondage wear-clad “slaves” to cry and dance for her before tossing hot milk on them while strange music plays in the background and two masked figures watch. “Charlize Theron is burning you with scolding hot milk! Now for the bleeding.”

We’ve obtained a copy of the tape, which is so insane we’ve embedded it below in the interest of journalism. You will never look at Charlize Theron (who we thought we knew well here in the MTV Newsroom) the same again.

Charlize Theron’s Kinky Sex Tape from Charlize Theron

Of course, the whole thing is a ruse for FunnyorDie in honor of that jokiest of holidays – April Fool’s Day! Keep your eyes open for practical jokers! Check out her “response” to her cell phone being hacked after the jump.

Charlize Theron Cell Phone Hack Response from Charlize Theron