The most recent episode of "Jersey Shore" has made us downright philosophical about the connection between language and memory. The simple fact is that our lovable GTL-ers have the memories of goldfish, and the words and phrases spouting from their mouths are correspondingly detached from reality.
How else to explain that Sammi was consumed with finding the author of an anonymous note about Ronnie's infidelities ("Who wrote the note?!"), yet she had no problem giving him adoring smooches and sharing his bed at night? How else to explain that Angelina could talk s--- behind JWoww's back one minute and then pretend she was doing no such thing the next ("I didn't talk s---!")? How else to explain pretty much everything the Situation managed to pull off, from keeping an eager girl in his room while he housed some grub to grinding with a club-goer who everyone else decided was a transvestite ("If you have to think about it…")?
But then again, as we have learned throughout our "Jersey Shore by the Numbers" experiment, the connection between behavior and language is not always as seamless as we might expect. In other words, these reality stars are unpredictable. Or in yet other words, they're predictably unpredictable.
Did you really think Snooki and Vinny would do some late-night bumping-and-grinding? Or that Pauly and Angelina would suck a little face? Did you think Sammi would be more upset about who wrote that note than with what Ronnie had actually done to those buxom, Jello shot-serving waitresses? Did you think Snooki and JWoww would actually be able to both survive a trip to the grocery store and cook a meal that didn't have their roomies running for the bathroom (where, according to Snooki, people go to dance)?
That's the "Jersey Shore" for ya, and we can't get enough. Enjoy our latest edition of "Jersey Shore by the Numbers."
"The medium is the message," goes media theorist Marshall McLuhan's famed maxim. That's exactly the lesson we learned on Thursday's (August 26) episode of "Jersey Shore," in which Snooki and JWoww thought it'd be a good idea to reveal their roomie's infidelities via an anonymous letter rather than a heart-to-heart-to-heart chat.
Put in more "Jersey Shore"-style terms, "It's ain't whatcha say, bro, it's how ya say it. B---."
And so we took in the spectacle of Sammi finding that letter tucked into her drawer, disclosing the many ways in which her troubled boyfriend Ronnie had betrayed her trust, from getting other girls' numbers to taking jello shots with a few waitress. Sammi was mortified, Ronnie was enraged and Snooki and JWoww fretted that a) maybe penning the note was a little harsh and b) soon everyone would discover the note's authors and freak the hell out.
We've become especially attuned to the cast's language this season, as we've embarked on our "Jersey Shore by the Numbers" project, tracking everyone's favorite words and phrases in an attempt to figure out just what goes on inside their oft-sloshed noggins. But it didn't take an expert in the academic areas of Tanning Technology or Laundry Arts to figure out the anonymous letter was going to start trouble.
Trouble, though, seems to follow these kids around, whether the Situation is fighting with Angelina about doing the dishes or Snooki is fighting with her boyfriend about Gay Pride Week. Yet they're a family, ready with an apology when they sense their words were unduly harsh. On Thursday's episode, the Situation atoned, Snooki forgave (albeit momentarily) and Sammi and Ronnie — well, they still can't decide if they love or hate each other.
But don't take our word for it. It's all there in wonderfully low-budget graph form: "Jersey Shore by the Numbers."
What did you think of the new episode of "Jersey Shore"? Let us know in the comments!
The "Jersey Shore" in Miami is a tale of two emotions: love and hatred. Sammi and Ronnie's on-again-off-again-crying-and-fighting-again relationship has become the show's defining narrative. As these lovesick lovebirds go, so goes the show. The numbers don't lie.
Four weeks into our "Jersey Shore by the Numbers" experiment — a quest to glean insight into the cast's hearts and minds by tracking their favorite words and phrases — and we know that, whether Sam and Ron are talking about love and cuddling or hatred and betrayal, their shenanigans are going to be all-consuming. And hilarious. And heartbreaking.
No sooner would they profess their love than someone would turn around and drop some hatred. Ronnie summed it up best when he intoned, "I hate you so much because I love you, you realize that?"
They just can't quit each other (despite their best efforts). Meanwhile, Vinny was busy pleading for a drama-free household. Not gonna happen, Vin. On last night's episode, naked girls were discussed, fools went on being foolish, farts were let loose and Emilio, Snooki's boytoy at the time, pulled one seriously unfunny prank. Take it all in with another installment of MTV News' "Jersey Shore by the Numbers."
Three episodes into the second season of "Jersey Shore," behavioral patterns are starting to emerge: Angelina cries, Sammi whines and Ronnie gets straight-up ridiculous. Three weeks into our ongoing, Excel-assisted "Jersey Shore by the Numbers" analysis, we wish we could say the same for their favorite words, phrases and trends.
Whereas episode one was teeming with talk of Miami and tanning, and episode two was all about love and boobs, these bon mots were shunted away during episode three in favor of references to God, violence and Enzo, the jolly owner of the gelato shop where the cast works.
And what an episode it was. Angelina laid the smack down on Pauly D, Ronnie and Vinny headed to the hood to get their 'dos cleaned up, and the boys bragged about their MVP club (and made their first season-two GTL reference). Grenades were encountered, drunken hiccups were unleashed and cuddles were enjoyed. But enough summary! Let's get cracking with another statistical evaluation of linguistic customs on "Jersey Shore."
Watch Snooki, the Situation, DJ Pauly D and the rest of your favorite GTL-ers on "Jersey Shore" every Thursday night at 10 p.m. on MTV. And for more "Jersey Shore" coverage, stay tuned to MTV News and the MTV Newsroom Blog.
Haven't watched the "Lost" season finale? Turn back now because everything that comes next is chock-full of spoilers ...
Yesterday, I claimed that I don't have much to complain about when it comes to "Lost." But after last night's two-hour season finale, I've got more than a few quibbles. For the first hour and 55 minutes, I was hooked. We learned who Jacob is and the various, nefarious ways in which he's been manipulating the Losties for decades. We got a satisfying glimpse into the chillaxing oceanside retirement of long-MIA lovebirds Rose and Bernard. And there were countless obscure tidbits — the reappearance of Charlie's Drive Shaft ring, the reenactment of Jack's terrifying first solo surgery that he told Kate about in the pilot episode — to reward hardcore viewers.
And then those final five minutes. Newly whiney Ben gets to go off on a monologue about being underappreciated? We're wasting valuable time here, Linus! Juliet detonates the nuke and the last thing we see is a white screen? Game-changer, sure. Cheap cliffhanger, you bet! The ending was reminiscent of the final moments of season one, when we got a long, tantalizing, ultimately frustrating peak into the Hatch without actually seeing or learning anything. Last season's finale, in which we saw that it was indeed John Locke in the coffin, or season three's finale, in which we learned that some Losties actually got off the Island (albeit temporarily) — now those were some kickass closers. That post-bomb, bright white screen will be seared into my memory until 2010, when the sixth and final season will commence. I'll have quit complaining by then and started desperately counting the days until the episodes start streaming across the airwaves. Because, really, "Lost" is still, and by far, the best show on TV.
Here's what other folks at MTV News had to say after last night's finale:
When it comes to "Lost" these days, I don't complain much. I love the time-travel jazz, I dig on the layered relationships between the characters, I bite my nails during tense plotlines — but I wasn't always such a grateful viewer. Back in the days of Nikki and Paulo, I was throwing Coke cans at the TV and swearing I'd never watch another episode again. But I kept coming back each week and, since "Lost" introduced the flash-forward plot device at the end of season three, I've been almost 100 percent on board with everything happening on and off the island, trusting that the writers won't let me down.
Still, I have questions heading into tonight's season-five finale — lots and lots of questions to which I demand answers. Who's Jacob? What's going on with those freaky-deaky whispers? Can you alter the past? Will Evangeline Lilly ever date me?
I'm not alone when it comes to such frenzied queries. Many staffers at MTV News are hardcore junkies of the show, and they shared their "Lost"-ian hopes and dreams heading into this evening's action.
Splash Page Editor Rick Marshall: While there's a part of me that really wants to know where Richard Alpert gets all that eyeliner, the comic book geek in me is focused entirely on the mysteries of the Smoke Monster. Now that there's been some explanation of where the polar bears came from and both the Dharma Initiative and the Others, the last remaining mysteries that seem to have supernatural roots are the natures of Jacob and the Smoke Monster. And with so much explained away by science and backstory the last few seasons (I'm lumping time travel in with the "science-based" explanations for island mysteries), the last vestige of the really, truly scary atmosphere of that tremendous first season is the Smoke Monster. Part of me wants to know the truth tonight, but there's another part of me that wants that mystery to wait until the final episode of "Lost" — saving the best of the island's mysteries for last.
At first, I was not an Allison Iraheta fan. I might even have been an Allison Iraheta hater. But the 17-year-old "American Idol" contestant won me over with her passionate rendition of "Someone to Watch Over Me" during last week's Rat Pack tribute night. And her performance on Tuesday — a soulful cover of Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby" — had me thinking the cranberry-haired rocker was headed to the top three — and perhaps further.
But she was booted off on Wednesday's broadcast, while Danny Gokey and lived to sing — or squeal? — another day. So, where does Iraheta go from here? A look back at former "Idol" contestants who got knocked off in the fourth spot provides both hope and concern for those of us eager to see Iraheta have a long, rocking career. Read More...
Hey, Lady Gaga — you're confusing me! MTV News loves you. You're on the top of the world right now, with two #1 Billboard singles this year. Madonna just boogied down at your show on Monday. And then you go ahead and say something that leaves me scratching my head: The Jonas Brothers are the new Beatles.
How can I put this gently? No! Hells to the no!
In an interview with British tabloid the Daily Star, Gaga revealed that the inspiration for her album, The Fame, was the Fab Four. Read More...
On Saturday night, "Britain's Got Talent" saw the emergence of another nondescript contestant who pulled off a bravura performance of a song from the musical "Les Misérables." Like Susan Boyle before him, Jamie Pugh tiptoed onto stage an unknown and sauntered off a star. His rendition of "Bring Him Home" blew the crowd away and nabbed three yes votes from the judges' panel.
So now we're wondering: Have we found the new Susan Boyle? Let's take a look ...
Why He Is The New Susan Boyle
Pugh's got all the ingredients for a feel-good story: He's a van driver by day and a pizza deliveryman by night who feels thwarted by his current path in life. "It's not what I want," he said on the show. "I want to sing." The problem has been that Pugh suffers from debilitating stage fright, and his goal going into "BGT" was simply to last for the entire three-minute performance without collapsing onstage. Read More...
The inevitable has happened: "Britain's Got Talent" sensation Susan Boyle got a makeover. She's ditched the drab dresses for a shiny black jacket, dyed her tangled gray locks a rich brown, donned a trendy plaid scarf.
Should we be concerned that the woman who rocketed to fame because of the unlikely juxtaposition of average-gal frumpiness and chill-inducing vocal chops has been forced to conform to conventional standards of beauty? Or should we instead applaud Ms. Boyle for her larvae-into-butterfly transformation now that she's on the world stage? No doubt half the Boyle-ites will be wringing their hands, while the other half sings (mostly off-key) her praises. Read More...