Old people, rejoice! “American Idol” is taking us back to the good ol’ days of bellbottoms and key parties and dinosaurs. It’s DISCO NIGHT on “American Idol” and I’ll be live-blogging every groovy second of it.
MTV News’ disappointment in “Idol” selecting a genre that’s as dated as Paula Abdul’s pop culture debut is well-documented. But it’s no fun if all we do is complain so let’s look at the bright side of tonight’s (Absurd! Heinous! Disastrous! Pointless! Obsolete! Despicable! God-awful!) theme.
First of all, Paula will be choreographing the group number in tomorrow night’s results show. I don’t recall Paula ever doing The Hustle with MC Skat Cat, so I’m not entirely sure why she chose disco week to jump back on the choreography horse, but hell, I’m still excited for it.
Second of all, Lil Rounds might actually choose a good song for her voice! Who am I kidding? She’s going to pick Bette Midler’s disco version of “Strangers in the Night” just to prove that deep down inside she’s really a sassy white woman with an affinity for bad wigs.
Lastly, disco night will force the contestants to pick uptempo tracks. Last week’s movie night was a non-stop barrage of ballads. And, thankfully, Bryan Adams has never released a disco tune. Oh crap, I’m just remembering that he did do disco when he was 19 years old. (If someone sings “Let Me Take You Dancing” I might have to stab myself.)
There I go with the negativity again.
Before I threaten self-mutilation again, let’s get to the live-blogging.
7:50 pm – Missed last week’s “shocking” use of the Judges’ Save? Catch up real quick with the latest “Idol in 60 Seconds” recap.
7:53 pm – 7 minutes to go. Don’t mind me. I’m bidding on Adam Lambert crap that wackadoodles are selling on Ebay. This floor mat might be my favorite, not only because of the grammatical error but also because something tells me ONLY boys would be allowed in Adam’s room.
8:00 pm - The show is opening with a crazy intense super-tease that feels like it belongs on "Survivor." My heart is racing. The Judges' Save was "Idol history," according to history. Yeah, it was historically stupid. We all know Matt is going home again this week.
8:01 pm - Vince Neil is in the audience! He loves the Judges' Save! I also imagine he's a fan of Adam Lambert's voice-work, since Lambert is ripping off hair metal vocalists every week.
8:02 pm - So, this is odd. Even though last week's show ran crazy long, and even though we still have seven singers, the show is still going to be an hour long.
8:03 pm - Interesting! They cut the pre-performance interview taped pieces. Good call producers!
8:03 pm - Also, they're having Lil Rounds kick off the show, which means she'll probably get kicked off tomorrow. Good call producers!
8:04 pm - Lil Rounds is singing Chaka Kahn's "I'm Every Woman." I have two things to say. 1) Her skin-tight catsuit makes it look like she is hiding every single woman in her pants. Baby got back. And 2) She may be every woman, but her hairy armpits make her more like every man. Wow. Doesn't she know that hairy pits ruined Paula Cole's career 10+ years ago?