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'American Idol' Recap: Top 12 Men Start Slow, End Hot

Posted 3/2/11 8:30 am EST by in Music

On their marks! Get set! Go! [Cue the sound of a stalled car.]

America got its first official glimpse at the Top 12 men of season 10 Tuesday night (March 1) and things were as psychotically bipolar as a certain sitcom star currently making the rounds. (I'm looking at you, Emmanuel Lewis!)

For every exhilarating Casey Abrams, there was a soul-crushing disappointment of Sundance Head proportions. (Oh the humanity, Tim Halperin!) Still, a trio of final performances (and a couple others) kept the momentum of "Idol X: Lauren Alaina or Bust" going strong.

Before I start shamelessly plugging my brand new weekly live show, "Idol Party Live," premiering this Thursday night at 10pm ET on MTV.com (featuring fans, celebs and a grand karaoke finale), let's take a closer look at each of the first official performances of season 10. (Seriously though, don't miss "Idol Party Live." In a lovely sign of "Idol" blogger solidarity, Entertainment Weekly's whip-smart recapping superstar Annie Barrett will be my gut-busting co-host this week. More goodies to be announced!)

Clint Jun Gamboa
Song: Stevie Wonder's "Superstition"
Verdict: Almost Wonderful
It's not a surprise that producers asked Jun-bug to kick off the proceedings on the brand new "Idol" stage that's part Thunderdome, part Space Mountain, part Jedi High Council Chamber. "Superstition" is one of those foolproof ditties that makes you boogie on your couch, even if the dude singing it is a near-sighted karaoke host whose claim to fame is making a 15-year-old cry. The judges dug Clint's presence and voice (both Randy and Steven called it "brilliant," causing the word "brilliant" to dye its hair, unlist its phone number and move to a new town). While I don't agree, I appreciated Jun-bug's hunger. But does his deadly opening placement in a semi-final show squash him? (See Season eight's Jackie Tohn, Rudy Cardenas from season six or the first season's Suzy Valaca for evidence.)

Jovany Barreto
Song: Edwin McCain's "I'll Be"
Verdict: Ship Him Back
Poor Barreto was the first soul of season 10 to get "Matt Girauditis," wherein a talented singer somehow loses all charisma the second he steps foot in front of 30 million people. Maybe the "Idol" stylist didn't have a chance to pick up his outfit at "Big & Buff Male," making his replacement gray vest and polka dot shirt too tight. Maybe he got confused and thought this week's theme was "wink while half-heartedly singing." Or maybe he picked a song that was done to death in the early "Idol" seasons, which made his offering feel small, inconsequential and low-budget. Sadly, I don't think he'll be around long enough to find out if "a long way from the shipyard" will be this year's "paint salesman."

Jordan Dorsey
Song: Usher's "OMG"
Verdict: LMAO
The smooth-crooning music teacher who once gave J.Lo "goosepimples" has been slowly morphing into a young Bobby Brown. Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: The Top 24 Are Ready For Prime Time

Posted 2/25/11 8:46 am EST by in Music

Call off the search dogs. Lower our security threat level back down to chartreuse. Our long national nightmare of not knowing the full Top 24 on "American Idol X" finally ended Thursday night (February 24), as Seacrest & Co. spent 14 hours reading 19 names. (Apparently "Idol" was just getting us in the mood for Sunday night's Oscar telecast.)

When the dust finally settled and the also-rans were told to mind the gap as they boarded the "Idol" Obscurity Train (Erin Kelly, Tiwan Strong, Brittany Mazur and Jimmie Allen, meet your conductors Vanessa Wolfe, Erskine Walcott and Hadas), "Idol" fans were left with a promising batch of 24 hungry young singers. And in an "AI" first, all 24 semi-finalists were profiled over the course of the two "big reveal" episodes. (Although, how could they not be in three hours of televison?!)

First thing's first, let's address the giant Tourettey/Aspergery elephant in the room: James Durbin, whose final audition (and ultimate entry into the Top 24) caused riots on the streets. (And when I say "Caused riots on the streets," I really mean, "Caused MJ's Big Blog to crash.") It was the gasp heard 'round the "Idol" bubble, when Durbin equated his reckless shriek to Adam Lambert's controlled wail. Then he performed "A Change Is Gonna Come" in the style of Lambert's season eight finale tour de force. Except Durbin replaced all of Adam's nuanced restraint and emotional honesty with manic red-faced grandstanding. It was the musical equivalent of Elizbeth Berkley's infamous caffeine pill meltdown from "Saved By the Bell." To paraphrase Jessie Spano, "He's so excited; I'm so scared."

I'll spare readers (and James) the lecture because we all know he struggles with a disorder that I imagine clouds self-awareness. (I truly think he intended his Lambert comparison to be a shout-out to one of his inspirations and not an arrogant dismissal of Adam's otherworldly vocal chops.) Instead, I'll simply urge Durbin to hone in on his own musical identity, and might suggest he avoid any future songs (or musical notes) that might end up with him being compared to a singer so far out of his league.

With that out of the way, Thursday night's episode picked up right where Wednesday left off. Jennifer Lopez needed five minutes to sob before continuing the reveal of the Top 24. Each singer had one last chance to perform in front of Randy, J. Lo and Steven, and it was apparent that the contestants took the "sing for your life" message to heart.

J. Lo superfan Karen Rodriguez shrewdly busted out one of Selena's big ballads for her final showcase, and it was nothing short of breathtaking. During Hollywood Week, we found out she stayed in the J. Lo playbooks, delivering a lounge lizardy spin on her number one hit "If I Had Your Love." (The new judge went out of her way to remind viewers just in case they don't remember all the way back to when Lopez was a legit recording star.) Back in her first audition, the judges wanted Karen to step up her personality and chutzpah, and ever since then she has been refining her style (I loved Karen's new severe bun, pulled so tight her eyes were yanked shut) and stepping up her performances. After hearing the good news that she'll be able to continue legally stalk J. Lo as an "Idol" contestant, Rodriguez said, "That just motivates me to work 10 times harder. I can't wait 'til next round." That’s the spirit! My only fear is that Rodriguez has already exhausted all the good J. Lo music references. She won't perform "Louboutins," will she?

Scotty McCreery was also a pleasant surprise. Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: The Top 24 Begin To Emerge From Sin City

Posted 2/24/11 8:51 am EST by in Music

Ever watch "American Idol" and think, "You know, I like watching amateurs perform, but I wish I could watch them sing four seconds of a Beatles song surrounded by oversized props on a hydraulic-enhanced stage"? Well, Wednesday night's (February 23) new Vegas round episode was just for you.

It was supposed to be a full two hours of people saying they've never heard of the Beatles, Steven Tyler waxing poetically about living in "Beatle Land" and awkward Seacrest interviews set in a makeshift Coca-Cola/Ford room that got integrated marketing execs horny. But then Jennifer Lopez had to go and have a meltdown when she told Chris Medina that he wasn't good enough to be on the show and producers said, "Eh, let's chop out that boring Vegas singing part. Who watches 'Idol' for the music anyway?"

Perhaps that's why the Vegas-set half of Wednesday's super-sized episode often felt like we were getting a greatest hits collection instead of a fully-formed album. Think the Beatles 1 versus Abbey Road. (Trust me, I'll get to the big reveal of the first five official "AI:X" cast members in a little. But if I go out of order, my sleep-deprived brain will sputter like blushing bride Ashley Sullivan off her meds.)

The conceit of Vegas Night reminded me of a "Top Chef" Quickfire Challenge. "You only have 24 hours to cook up a Beatles duet or group number. Also, make a quiche. Go!" And boy, did the contestants bring their finest cheese to the stage.

Casey Abrams and Chris Medina — who bonded instantly over their mutual disdain for hair care — donned matching acoustic guitars, coordinated fedoras and bright white socks for "A Hard Day’s Night." They also choreographed jumping on a giant prop bed because they desperately want to be the stars of some twisted fan fiction in which Chris' fiancé Juliana will be an unwilling participant. (Just like "Idol"!)

But nobody out-cheesed Denise Jackson, Lauren Alaina and Scott McCreery. At first I felt bad for this team. Jimmy Iovine and his army of too-cool-for-school producer thugs waltzed into their rehearsal unannounced and barked that "If I Fell" needed to be changed. (Wait, is this the role that Jimmy Iovine is playing on the show? Meddling middle management nincompoop?)

The group settled on one of the most annoying Beatles tunes ever recorded in "Hello Goodbye" and jazzed it up by running around a British phone booth. Steven Tyler likened the performance to a Marx Brothers folly; I likened hearing Scott hit high notes to the Crash Test Dummies singer dude getting smacked in the crotch. Good job, Jimmy Iovine!

The new mentor had better advice for Jacob Lusk, who has a tendency to bring the hiccupping Holy Ghost to everything he sings. (Imagine Lusk's "Happy Birthday." Now give yourself five minutes to stop laughing before you continue reading.) Iovine compared Jacob's vocal agility to Bono's in some strange way that kind of made sense at the time, and then added, "If [Bono] used [his vocal power] all the time, he'd be working in a café in Dublin. Or a pub." (As opposed to where Bono is now, using his vocal power to seriously injure Broadway actors.) But duly noted, Jimmy Iovine. You hate over-singing. Yet you're on "Idol." That’s like hating sunshine and moving to Florida. You best be investing in some sun block, partner.

Lusk, Haley Reinhart and Naima Adedapo took Jimmy's advice to heart when they performed "The Long and Winding Road." Instead of making it a tuneless 15-minute diaphragm exercise of vocal runs, they reigned it in to 12 minutes. Progress! But Randy Jackson thought Lusk lost sight of what makes him special, and compared his voice to a car with gas that's not going anywhere. This Lusk guy, always on the receiving end of cockamamie comparisons.

And then, Jacob solidified his place in my heart by responding, "We were told to be extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely cautious, so I tried to give a little bit but I didn't want to take it all the way to Ebenezer Baptist on y'all." Who uses the same word four times for emphasis? Jacob Lusk does, that's who. This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I'm currently taking submissions for a Lusk Fan Club name. (Lusk For Life? Lucky In Lusk?)

"I Saw Her Standing There" singers Tatynisa Wilson, Lakeisha Lewis and Jerome Bell also thought "more is more" when it came time to perform, and I'm not just talking about their vocals. Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: Carson Higgins, Scotty McCreery, More Survive Another Hollywood Round

Posted 2/18/11 2:07 pm EST by in Music

Hollywood Week continued on "American Idol" Thursday night, as the remaining 100 contestants performed solo numbers in hopes of becoming America's "next top adult contemporary star."

Historically, this is the week where the front-runners solidify their lead going into the semi-finals. Think David Archuleta's "Heaven." Think Andrew Garcia's "Straight Up." Think Matt Giraud's "Georgia on My Mind." It's also when early faves flame out spectacularly. See: Josiah Leming.

Seacrest promised "some of the most outstanding performances in our 10-year history," and for once, his overhype was nearly justified. I can't remember the last time I watched an "Idol" episode so full of singers leaving every last bit of showbiz pizazz on the stage.

Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: Group Night Brings More New Faces And Shattered Dreams

Posted 2/17/11 8:15 am EST by in Music

Wednesday night (February 16) smelled like sleep deprivation, bad craft service and embarrassing levels of desperation. It's not VMA week here at MTV (kidding), so it must mean one thing: Hollywood Group Number Night on "American Idol"!

In the past, we've had havoc-wreakers like the Brittenum Brothers, Tatiana del Toro, Julia DeMato and Antonella Barba. Who will step up and be this season's resident diva?

As it turns out, a bunch of people!

Thanks to producers insisting that each group feature singers from both days of the first Hollywood round (thus thwarting savvy hopefuls who secretly created groups and rehearsed on their day off), contestants' true colors shone through immediately.

The first diva showdown came during the initial group number scramble. In one corner, we had "professional choreographer" Tiffany "Star Tatas" Rios, and in the other we had Scotty "I Only Know One Song" McCreery. No shocker that nobody wanted to be in Tiffany's group. Could you blame them after she boasted to the judges "I'm tired of seeing people try to do what I know I can"? But Scotty's reaction to Tiffany's invitation was surprisingly divalicious. "Sing for me," he sniffed to the desperate Rios as he sprayed his voice with some kind of magic Celine Dion vocal spray. Even cowboys get the phlegm!

Then Scotty dissed the likeable Sugarmamas, who were desperate to include a day two singer after their first nameless white dude member (who might have been Tim Heidecker) ditched them. (The Sugarmamas also ended up losing Jessica Yantz to Tiffany Rios. Perhaps they should have renamed their group the Hemorrhages.)

Scotty met his match with Jordan Dorsey, who only needed to hear two seconds of McCreery's signature "Oh baby blah blah blah lights down low" song before hilariously hissing, "No, just no." Later, Dorsey denied calling a girl "a weak link" two seconds after he called just that. Werk, delusional diva! Werk! (Eventually Jordan left his first group to go terrorize another.)

Our next diva was Guap group leader Clint Jun Gamboa, who kicked 15-year-old cherub Jacee Badeaux to the curb. Clint, Clint, Clint — even if Jacee's sweet honey-dripped tenor wasn't gelling with the group (as you claimed), didn’t you realize that you'd look like a heartless boob on television for making an adorable puppy cry? Good thing Jacee's mom passed the parent test by saying precisely the right thing to her weeping child. "You know what? It just wasn't meant to be." Four for you, Mama Badeaux! (Jacee ended up with a group who knew a thing or two about being dumped: the Sugarmamas.)

Moms were involved in another diva-off, this one with resident season 10 screamer James Durbin. Both his group, the Deep V's and the Minors (a collection of underage R&B superstars), were tackling Queen's "Somebody to Love." But his Asperger's-and-Tourette's-affected mind thought it was unfair that the 15- and 16-year-olds were getting coached by their sassy stage moms. He bitched to producers, cameras and anyone who would listen, which was basically everyone in the greater Los Angeles area since Durbin busted out his signature shriek. "Either way, our version is really gonna kick some aaaaaaaass," he said/sang as a group member visibly winced. I feel ya, bud.

Our next diva, Jacqueline Dunford, committed the cardinal sin of "Idol" Hollywood Week episodes by saying she didn't want anyone to "take control" of the group. You know where this is going. Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: Hollywood Week Thins The Herd, Hurts The Ears

Posted 2/11/11 8:15 am EST by in Music

Thursday night (February 10) kicked off Hollywood Week on "American Idol," where water bottles are liberally used as microphones, pajamas are considered appropriate TV attire and the judges can cut all the sad sacks with sob stories who they felt guilted into advancing the first time.

In other words, this is my now.

Seacrest knows what's up. In the intro, he wistfully intoned, "Countless dreams will be tested as we start this epic journey." I salivated with anticipation. (I also shuddered when I tried to imagine my dreams being tested. Please don't test that one dream where I'm a house cat and I get to sleep and snuggle 23 hours a day, Seacrest. It's my favorite ever! Purrrr.)

Unfortunately, the first hour of Hollywood Week did not live up to the hype that Seacrest enjoys perpetuating.

Before we get to the juicy drama-producing group numbers, we have to endure an obvious sudden death round. Everyone performs a cappella. There are no comments from the judges, other than a final "You, you, you, step forward. You stay. Everyone else, sashay away."

But instead of introducing new characters or revealing new traits about singers we already met, we just got recaps of back-stories and small snippets of performances from people we've already heard sing. Are we having fun yet?

The most egregious waste of time was the segment devoted to people who studied the Kristy Lee Cook and Kimberley Locke playbooks by singing the same damn audition song over and over again. Baritone cowboy Scotty McCreery, old man aficionado Jackie Wilson and hat addict Jerome Bell didn't bother learning a new tune for Hollywood Week, yet all of them made it to the next round. And this was important to share with viewers because?

Meanwhile, an early favorite like Sarah Sellers was booted to the curb without any explanation whatsoever. Couldn't producers have given us at least three seconds of her botching a note so we can sleep at night? It's bad storytelling! No wonder "Idol" super-fans are often kvetching about conspiracy theories and producer pimping.

While I'm on the subject, did anyone else notice the red, circular stickers on the judges' notes? If a contestant's picture had a red sticker, it meant "Idol" was planning to feature them in their audition episodes. Subtext: Make sure you think twice about cutting them. Ooooof.

This year, the judges had a Sisyphean task of whittling down the talent pool, since they had given Golden Tickets to every Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane willing to cry about their family secrets on television. (Seacrest told us they had let through twice as many as usual. That's a lot of tragedy.)

So how did our favorite survivors do? Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: Auditions End With Poverty, Car Accidents, Guerillas

Posted 2/10/11 8:15 am EST by in Music

Wednesday night's (February 9) episode wrapped up the audition portion of "American Idol X: Let's Just Let Everybody Win This Year," and producers couldn't resist walloping viewers with a doozy of a back story one last time. And no, I'm not talking about the girl who apparently farted in front of the judges. (Kudos for not actually showing us that footage, "Idol.")

To say James Durbin hasn't overcome obstacles is like saying there aren’t enough "Idol" audition episodes. The 21-year-old's estranged dad died of an overdose back when James was a sleep-deprived wee lad, and now he's living with Tourette Syndrome and Asperger's and a wife who compulsively covers their tiny apartment with inspirational Post-It notes. (That last thing might be the most difficult to deal with, honestly.) Oh, and he has a baby who crawls around diaperless, leaving a trail of tears and baby droppings in his poverty-stricken wake.

Forgive my colorful language, but if "Idol" is going to romanticize tragedy with Seacrest's purring voice-overs and dramatic rack-focus camera moves, I'll do the same with my recap, thank you very much.

At this point, I'm not even going to discuss this dude's voice (which is high-pitched and high-volumed) because the judges knew they were letting this guy through regardless of whether he sounded like Josh Groban or William Hung.

In fact, nearly every Golden Ticket recipient featured on Wednesday night's episode came equipped with his or her "Lifetime Original Movie" pitch. (Cue Katy Perry's "This isn't a Lifetime movie, sweetheart" clip from last year, please.)

Thankfully, a few of their voices stood out from the pack.

My favorite of the night, and perhaps of the season so far (which means she'll either get cut in Hollywood or make it to the finals and get swallowed up on stage by nerves) was Emily Anne Reed. With her tatted-up appearance and squeaky old-school voice, the comparisons to season eight's resident oddball Megan Joy (and season nine beauty Lacey Brown) are inevitable. But Emily also plays the guitar, as evidenced by her gleeful post-audition "Honey Babe Blues," which suggests to me that she might have better musical instincts than the jazzy vocalists who have crashed and burned before her. (I suppose I shouldn't make a "burn" reference, seeing that Emily Anne's house burned down a week before her audition, but then again, Kelly Clarkson's apartment went up in flames pre-"Idol," too. Maybe it's a good luck charm.)

I also dug the jazzy notes in car accident survivor Stefano Langone's "I Heard Hurrrrd It Through the Grapevine." Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: Los Angeles Underwhelms

Posted 2/4/11 8:15 am EST by in Music

Was Thursday night's (February 3) episode of "American Idol" the worst ever?!

That was the collective kvetch on the Internet after season 10's Los Angeles auditions aired. Could that bold declaration actually be true? Let's break down the hour and take a closer look.

Here's everything that was awesome on Thursday night's episode: Randy Jackson's gold shoes.

Here's everything that made me want to personally recreate Butthole Surfers' Electriclarryland album cover: Everything else.

Granted, six hours into the season, we're all suffering from Audition Episode Fatigue Syndrome (or AEFS). (Symptoms include daydreaming about Paris Bennett, engaging in a Twitter party with an "Idol" winner's dog, dizziness, nausea and having the sudden urge to explore the 600 section of your cable package.) But good TV trumps being burned out. Case in point: The "Real Housewives" series. I feel like I've been watching this franchise continuously for three years now, but as soon as one of those walking facelifts calls her sister an alcoholic in the back of a limousine, I'm jonesin' for more.

The problem with Thursday's episode? The good singers weren't amazing, and the bad auditions weren't fantastically bad. The 60-minute ordeal was limper than season six contestant Garrett Haley's anemic "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do." Even J. Lo complained that a contestant lacked balls at one point. (Yet she was so quick to give Jacee Badeaux a Golden Ticket a few weeks ago. Curious.)

Adding insult to injury, the producers opened the show with a recap of the best their favorites so far and then promised "the best talent we've ever had." Well, Nigel Lythgoe, if a belly dancer with an addiction to blue eyeliner is the best "Idol" has to offer, let's just put a fork in season 10 and save our energy for "The X Factor." Don't tell me I'm about to eat caviar and present me with gerbil poop.

That's not to say I didn't perk up when delusional (and rejected) Victoria Garrett hissed, "Everybody can't sing like [cue the sarcastic handmade quotation marks] J. Lo." (Burn!) And I'll admit that I chortled when the chin-strapped/mustached/sweaty CEO of Matthew Scott Frankel Produc ... tions deadpanned, "I got a compilation that features Chaka Khan." (No disrespect to a legend, but having heard Chaka sing live recently, I wouldn't brag about that booking, Matthew.)

But you know you're desperate when your best audition is a MySpace contestant flown into Los Angeles from New York. Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: All Hail John Wayne Schulz (And His Mother)

Posted 2/3/11 8:15 am EST by in Music

Come one! Come all! Spend a few seconds in front of the new (and improved) "American Idol" panel and regardless of your singing abilities, you will get a Golden Ticket to Hollywood!

Are you an over-caffeinated 17-year old Seacrest stalker, more than willing to hit on any and all of the judges before shakily warbling a song with the lyrics, "I'm down on my knees"? Perfect! "Idol" wants you in Hollywood, Courtney Penry! (And please bring your deranged chicken impression.)

Do you have a sister named Brooks you only recently found out about (Oprah did it better...) and a big J. Lo booty (J. Lo does it better) but a nasal singing voice on par with any theater geek in a small town? (J. Lo does that better, too.) Step right up, Corey Levoy! Hell, we'll even let Sister Brooks sit in as a judge!

Are you an improv comedy team who are "dating" in order to get valuable time in front of the judges so that one of you can squawk Duffy and the other can croon Maroon 5 in the style of Michael Buble? You're in luck, Jacqueline Dunford and Nick Fink! "Idol" can't wait to produce a segment on you! (And, one can only imagine, more segments to come in Hollywood week.)

Welcome to "American Idol," Season 10: Where "No" Goes to Die.

Wednesday night's (February 2) Austin audition episode only highlighted one singer who seemed like he has an actual shot at this thing. Ladies and gentleman, say hello to John Wayne Schulz.

Producers were enamored with his name. (Because they're British and don't realize that nobody cares about John Wayne anymore.) But I have a feeling that American audiences are going to be enamored with Schulz's Southern charm, 10 gallon hat and heartwarming rendition of Brooks and Dunn's "Believe." (Not to be confused with Cher's hit of the same name. Band name not to be confused with aforementioned sister/brother duo Brooks and Dull.)

Compared to 16-year-old Scott McCreery (who we met last week in Nashville), Schulz's voice is far more versatile. And where McCreery's audition was full of "ain't I cute?" smirks, Schulz closed his eyes and completely lost himself in the music. His emotional delivery rang so true that I would have sported the same goosebumps even if I hadn't known that he was trying out as a favor to his breast cancer suffering mom.

Now that we're on the topic, let me count the ways that I love Vicky (aka Mama Schulz).
Read More...

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'American Idol' Recap: Lauren Alaina Sets The Season Standard In Nashville

Posted 1/28/11 8:15 am EST by in Music

OK, "American Idol." Time to pack it up. No need to bother going through the rest of season 10. As far as "Idol" producers are concerned, we have met our next champion and her name is Lauren Alaina.

The first 52 minutes of Thursday night's (January 27) Nashville audition episode — filled with quarreling ex-lovers, former Donald Trump trophy teens and far too many "delusional" people who were obviously in on the joke — was like that one time in '97 when I went to see Blur and they had their friend's terrible band open for them so that they looked amazing by comparison.

Like Blur, there was no need for the weighted build up to the headliner. Truth is, Lauren Alaina's voice was the first one this season to make me cock my head sideways (a la Little Forrest Gump) and make my arm hairs tingle. She demonstrated control and conveyed emotion like a seasoned pro during Faith Hill's "Like We Never Loved at All." Then she naturally bantered with a misty-eyed J. Lo, quipping, "You're too pretty to cry!" Was she created in an "Idol" test tube or what?

Alaina even came equipped with a heart-tugging past. Her main inspiration, cousin Holly, is battling a brain tumor. Even more tragic? Her main hair inspiration is Ke$ha, judging from the crunchy rat's nest that sat atop her pretty little head. Perhaps most tragic? Her dress inspiration was the B-52's Cosmic Thing album cover. Somebody needed to bang bang bang on the door, baby, and tell Lauren that fluorescent psychedelia ain't happening for her.

(I feel like such a jerk for blatantly mocking a bubbly 15-year-old's fashion sense. Why did you have to make my job so dang difficult with this new lowered age limit, Nigel Lythgoe?)

But oh, that voice! Lythgoe has been openly campaigning for this girl on Twitter, saying her pipes are better than Kelly Clarkson's. With her Southern roots, twang and blond hair, I leaped to Carrie Underwood (if former "Idol" winner comparisons had to be made). But, as a commenter on MJ's Big Blog astutely pointed out, Alaina also has "a big spoonful of [Kellie] Pickler warmth and a dollop of Jordin's youthful enthusiasm." Ding ding ding!

I could have done without the "spur of the moment" Steven Tyler duet, and I definitely rolled my eyes as Tyler gushed to cameras that they "may have found the one." The pimping is getting old already, sure. But aren't you at least happy that you don't feel lied to when the show claims she was the best they saw out of 17,000 Nashville hopefuls?

The other judges' fave, 28 year old Jackie Wilson, was more of a head-scratcher to me. Read More...

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