By Rya Backer

We don't know if you heard, but on Saturday, thousands of young women came to Manhattan to try out for a very special "America's Next Top Model" — it was the Temple of Tyra's iteration of the show specifically catered to women 5'7" and under. Some of the ladies had even arrived the night before to ensure a good place in line. But Saturday morning, a car made the terrible mistake of overheating on the very same block where the hopefuls were assembled. Smoke began to emanate from the car, which escalated the situation to a bomb scare. The crowd parted like a human sea of reeds, leaving six people injured and three arrested. No word yet on rescheduling the tryouts, so it's my pleasure to declare that all of the women are still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model.

Oh no she didn't!!!

On Tuesday, my old friend Tyra Banks gave me a little shout-out on her talk show. When I heard that I'd been mentioned, I thought, Could this be about successful "America's Next Top Model" alums? News reporters? MTV on-air correspondents? Modeling? Why is Tyra talking about me again?!

And then it came to me with a rush of "shockingly predictable": The show was called "Straight Girl, Gay Crush" and asked the question, "Is everybody a little bit gay?"

On my season of "ANTM," I had a somewhat brief (depending on how much you know) fling with a girl named Sarah Rhoades, a self-proclaimed straight girl. So, naturally, Tyra was using our notorious limo kiss as an example of a straight girl getting involved with a gay girl — so surprising, considering the three times I was on the Tyra show were centered around my apparently very exciting sexuality. Oh great!

Still, though. I'm a sucker for Tyra, so I'll bite.
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Call off the troops and put away the bayonets. Today, a feud was ended, and a friendship commenced.

Tyra and I are kindred spirits again.

I have to admit, making the "elimination room" spoof was a blast. It made me feel exhilarated, renewed, refreshed and, yes, avenged in a certain manner. But such fleeting feelings were soon overtaken by a need to put down my arms, be the bigger (metaphorically speaking) person and make things right with TyTy once more.

I saw the new film she executive-produced, "The Clique," as the perfect opportunity. So, pride and confidence in hand, I went to interview Tyra this morning with three goals in mind.

1. To call for a cease-fire
2. To find out if, after all, the photo shoot with Analeigh (theme: the reporter with an attitude) was, in fact, inspired by my antics at the Fiercee Awards
3. To ask, if it wasn't about me, who was Tyra talking about? Who deserves to take Naomi Campbell's place?

Who is Tyra feuding with?

All three goals were completed. Take a look:

Joan. It's on. Godspeed and may the best woman win.