Chris Rock

By Zachary Swickey

Six years later, we are still lamenting the loss of one of the funniest (and most successful) sketch shows in television history, “Chappelle’s Show.” While comedian Dave Chappelle has kept an insanely low profile – occasionally making rare surprise appearances at comedy clubs at ungodly hours like 2:40AM – he’s supposedly “still got it” and it appears Chris Rock is itchin’ to get the star back on tour.

Rumors first surfaced last October about a Rock/Chappelle joint comedy tour between the two icons, but nothing ever came of the walk … until now. Vulture caught up with Rock at the Sundance Film Festival to talk about his upcoming movie “2 Days in New York” (a sequel to the underappreciated gem “2 Days in Paris” starring Julie Delpy and Adam Goldberg), and he slyly revealed the tour still might happen.

“I’ve been talking to Chappelle a lot. Been trying to get Chappelle to go on tour,” he said. Watch the Throne even apparently provided some new inspiration: “After seeing Kanye and Jay-Z, I was like, ‘Me and Dave should do this.’” Read More...

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The Onion decided to have a little bit of fun with all of the ridiculous rumors surrounding Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby girl Blue Ivy Carter and is breaking news that the evil witch Grisora has come to claim the superstar's first born as payment for Beyonce's perfect singing voice 15 years ago.

Here's how it all went down:

"When Beyonce was a young girl, she met a magical witch named Grisora in the woods while gathering berries and Grisora told Beyonce she would make her sing with the unmatched beauty of a thousand nightingales in return for her first born child," gossip columnist Bryan Spees tells "StarFix."

It seems Grisora has been keeping tabs on Bey and was even in the front row at the VMAs when she revealed her pregnancy (a tough ticket to get, Bryan notes) and even though Jay-Z offered her a room full of gold to go away, Grisora would not be dissuaded.

Take a little breather from all the Blue ivy craziness and watch the Onion's clip below:


Blue Ivy Taken By Evil Witch Who Gave Beyoncé Her Beautiful Singing Voice

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Kristen Wiig

We kind of figured Kristen Wiig was a smarty pants when we learned she co-wrote the amazingly funny "Bridesmaids," but we had no idea the extent of her genius-like brilliance. (Well, we got a peek when she went toe-to-toe with a particularly spunky teen in that extended jewelry store insult-off from "Bridesmaids.")

It looks like the "Saturday Night Live" standout has figured out how to solve global warming. We can all go home and rest easy now.

Wiig, an ambassador for the Clinton Foundation's Celebrity Division, has all the answers in this Funny or Die skit. Kristen's Global Breathing Initiative – which would require every person on the planet to hold their breath for a minute every day – would be like taking a billion cars off the road because of all the carbon we humans exhale and would feature a celebrity ad campaign "with celebrities holding their breath really sexy." We're totally into it. Check it out after the jump! Read More...

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Kathy Griffin has made a career of ribbing celebrities, so it's no surprise that the comedienne is now sending up one of most iconic images in pop music history.

Griffin has been named to the OUT 100, the magazine's annual list honoring the most influential people in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community as well as straight allies who support LGBT causes. And yes, that's openly gay "Modern Family" star Jesse Tyler Ferguson helping to keep this picture mostly safe for work.

"To pay homage to their individualism, this year's portfolio is inspired by iconic portraits of the 20th century, from Richard Avedon's image of a shaving Marlon Brando and Robert Mapplethorpe's Patti Smith to Herb Ritts's Madonna and Harry Benson's timeless portraits of the Beatles pillow-fighting," OUT says on its website.

In OUT's portfolio, Griffin and Ferguson recreate Janet Jackson's famous 1993 Rolling Stone cover, which featured Jackson in a simple pair of jeans with her bare breasts being cupped by then-unknown husband Rene Elizondo Jr. Read More...

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Stephen Colbert

In 2006, Stephen Colbert introduced fans of The Colbert Report to Stephen and the Colberts, his 1980s new wave band, and their hit single "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You).”

Now he’s back with a follow-up, “Charlene II (I'm Over You).” “Charlene II” is a rock jam backed by the Black Belles, and features the Grammy winner (seriously, Colbert took home the Best Comedy Album prize in 2010 for A Colbert Christmas) singing about how over the titular Charlene he really is – though his email address is still Stephen@CharleneForever.com if she happens to still have feelings for him.

Check it out below, and if you happen to be in New York City today, look out for the comedian, who is scheduled to appear all around Manhattan with Jack White selling copies of the song from White’s "rolling record store,” which goes all over the country selling music from Third Man Records (White’s label). Colbert is also making “Charlene II” available through iTunes, vinyl and the Third Man Records’ website.

Read More...

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Shaq

By Zachary Swickey

Looks like Shaquille O’Neal is taking a post-retirement cue from Larry King by embarking on his first ever comedy tour. While O’Neal – along with Cedric the Entertainer – has spearheaded a few Shaq’s All-Star Comedy Jam television specials since 2009, this will find the retiree taking hand-picked comedians – Aries Spears, Corey Holcomb, Tommy Davidson, Capone, Gary Own, and Tony Roberts – out on the road for the first time.

The tour kicks off September 9 in Memphis, Tenn., and runs through mid-November. There are also plans to film the gigs for the upcoming reality show All-Star Comedy Jam Backstage Pass. Think he’s bitten off more than he can chew? You might be surprised to read about all of the “hats” he has donned over the years.

Rapper

Younger fans of O’Neal may be unaware of his musical past, but the dude has five albums under his belt. His first two went platinum, while the third went gold. It seems his rapping aspirations are behind him, as it’s been over ten years since he’s released new music. In hindsight, his music holds up about as well as a Limp Bizkit record (that is, not very well), but just check out the absolutely insane A-list talent he worked with over the years: Jay-Z, Dr. Dre, Notorious B.I.G., Michael Jackson, Method Man, Redman, RZA, Ludacris, Mobb Deep and Warren G.

Video Game Star

Forget O’Neal’s appearances in multiple different basketball games for nearly every gaming system, nothing compares to his starring role in his own video game. In October 1994, Shaq Fu was released for the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo consoles and features the baller stumbling into another dimension, where he must battle an evil mummy (yes, seriously). He was also a special unlockable character in several different games: Ready 2 Rumble Boxing: Round 2, Delta Force: Black Hawk Down and UFC 2010 Undisputed.

Read on for more. Read More...

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MayerFunny

The brilliant folks at Funny Or Die have passed along a clip Guitar Virtuoso(TM) John Mayer shot for them, all about how he writes those Grammy-winning tunes that make suburban moms (and Jennifer Aniston) cry.

In it, you will find that Mayer, who by his admission has “not been inspired since 2004,” has adopted progressive songwriting methods -- such as employing two dudes to churn out complex lyrical themes in his “idea room”...

Dude #1: You like the girl…but you can’t get the girl.

Mayer: If I can’t get the girl, why don’t I just tell her I’m John Mayer?

Come along with The Guitar Virtuoso as he asks the question: “Have all the chords in music been found? Most people say yes. I say, ‘Not so fast, a**hole.’”

Update: Oops! Too many obscenities, which are like kryptonite for Viacom. So you'll just have to go directly to their site to watch the clip.

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