THIS IS THE LAST THING WE’LL WRITE ABOUT FALL OUT BOY’S TRIP TO CHILE. WE PROMISE.

So, as you certainly must know by now, last week I was with Fall Out Boy when they came up short in their attempt to set a world record by playing a show in Antarctica. And when I wasn’t fanning the flames of international tensions with blog posts that insulted Chile’s rather overzealous youth, I had a front-row seat for the inner-workings of the entire Antarctic trip, which was sort of like being in the engine room of the Titanic, only with better schwag.

Because while the whole thing was starting to sink, FOB let me in on a little secret: Seems that in order for their attempt to be validated by the Guinness Book of World Records, they had to play an actual concert, before a “paying” audience in Antarctica, meaning they had to print a batch of tickets for the gig — tickets that would then be “purchased” by the staff of scientists they’d be playing for, with all funds going to Greenpeace. The only problem is now that the show was off, they were stuck an entire ream of entirely worthless ducats.

Not willing to see them all end up on eBay, they gave some to me. And here’s what one of them looks like. It’s okay to be jealous (I am a vindictive jerk). Picture and more after the jump.

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Dear Incredibly Enthusiastic, Astonishingly Persistent, Slightly Terrifying Mob of Fall Out Boy Fans That Have Surrounded The Finis Terrae Hotel All Week,

Hey! How are you? Okay, okay, okay…Stop screaming! Seriously, stop!

Fall Out Boy left this morning! They’re gone! You don’t need to peer through the windows or pound on the glass anymore. Pete isn’t going to hear you. He’s back in Los Angeles. There’s no reason you should be climbing the back gate of the hotel right now! Really, the guys left. They’re not here. I promise.

What? No, I can’t give them a note you made. Not even if you say “please” 456 times in a row.

Look, I realize Fall Out Boy coming to Punta Arenas is probably the biggest thing to happen in town since, well, ever. And I know you all mean well. But, really, all the chanting and pushing is getting kind of old. Also, I see you’re wearing a school uniform. Shouldn’t you be in class right now? Don’t you have homework to do? Don’t you have parents?!?!

What’s that? No, I’m not in Fall Out Boy. Honestly, I’m not. You don’t need to take a millon pictures of me! Seriously! What’s that? You want me to sign your hand/backpack/notebook? Why? I know I’m one of only 15 Caucasians in this town, and I’m one of only 7 wearing skinny jeans, but I promise, I’m not in Fall Out Boy. Really.

You’re starting to freak me out. Go home! It’s over! What? No-no-no. Stop screaming.
You don’t need to crowd me…I really can’t breathe… Aaaaaaah!! Please…It’s getting dark…Please!

Sincerely,
James Montgomery

So, as you might have heard by now, Fall Out Boy didn’t quite make it to Antarctica, thanks to some rather uncooperative weather down on the frozen tundra.

Their management, uh, managed to get the band out of Chile today — Pete Wentz and Pat Stump, welcome home! — plus a few members of the crew. But thanks to returning spring breakers, there weren’t quite enough tickets to go around, so Andrew Hurley and Joe Trohman and a few key members of the Antarctic team got left behind in Punta Arenas.

They don’t leave until tomorrow, so in the mean time, they’re keeping busy by making clandestine trips to the grocery store (see Hurley and his Cheerios in accompanying photo), tossing drumsticks out the window of their hotel room windows, and — most importantly — cooking up another ploy to get into the Guinness Book of World Records.

I can’t go into specifics here, but let’s just say it involves all seven continents, a much shorter time span, and incredibly higher stakes. Trust me, if they pull it off, it’ll be worth it.

Yeah, TRUST me.

Well, there goes that.

More from James Montgomery in the Newsroom soon.

Last week, Fall Out Boy announced they were going to play Antarctica, to set the world record for shortest amount of time to play all the world’s seven continents. MTV News writer James Montgomery got to go, because he was the person in the office most in need of a pick-me-up. This is his latest dispatch via Blackberry - THE THIRD TODAY!

Did you know that McMurdo Station, the United States’ Antarctic research facility, is mentioned in John Carpenter’s icy, gory horror flick “The Thing?”

Well, it is. And given the reason Fall Out Boy are down here in Punta Arenas — coupled with the fact that they’ve been forced to spend most of their time as unwitting hostages in their hotel rooms (the screaming kids are everywhere) — the metaphor of “the Thing” is becoming more and more apparent. FOB, it seems, are trapped. And probably doomed.

Or so we thought.

Turns out FOB drummer Andy Hurley is tired of hiding. So, along with one of FOB’s crew members (the massive Kyle Chirnside), he’s decided to launch a covert mission to make it to the grocery store, no matter what the costs.

And luckily for you, he and Chirnside took a camera along with them as they left the safety of the Finis Terrae hotel, braving the screaming crowds, determined to get a hold of both long underwear and some choice munchies for the long nights ahead. Take a look.

Much, much more after the jump.
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On Tuesday, when he wasn’t giving faux weather reports, Pete Wentz was, like the rest of us, reading about the collapse of Antarctica’s Wilkins Ice Shelf, a slab of ice reported to be seven times the size of Manhattan (but, you know, not nearly as interesting).

Located on the continent’s Western Peninsula (the island where Fall Out Boy are attempting to land is just off the tip of said Peninsula), the 160-square-mile chunk of ice — which may have formed more than 1,500 years ago — began collapsing late last month, but now it’s begun a fast dissolve, due in no small part to the effects of global warming, scientists say.

Fortunately, we have a reporter in the area. I asked Wentz what he thought of the whole thing and he said, “Someone sent (the story) to me and they’re like ‘Oh now you guys are going and this ice shelf fell that wasn’t supposed to fall for another 15 years.” And I’m like, ‘We didn’t even land there so that wasn’t even our fault.”

“Basically it’s more evidence of global warming,” he continued. ” Essentially our runway just fell off.”

I’ll have more on this trip here on the Newsroom blog later today, plus you can read more about the whole stunt in my column this week, as we make our way, hopefully, towards Antarctica.

Last week, Fall Out Boy announced they were going to play Antarctica, to set the world record for shortest amount of time to play all the world’s seven continents. MTV News writer James Montgomery got to go, because he and Pete Wentz are BFF. These are his stories.

Last week, Fall Out Boy announced they were going to play Antarctica, to set the world record for shortest amount of time to play all the world’s seven continents. MTV News writer James Montgomery got to go, because he found a golden ticket at the bottom of his popcorn box while watching “Horton Hears A Who.” These are his stories.

Okay, so, by now, you probably know that Fall Out Boy were forced to scrap Tuesday’s planned Antarctic concert due to bad weather on the icy continent (mainly because, well, that was my report from yesterday, which you can read about here). But what’s on tap for Wednesday? Well, as it turns out, even worse weather, which means that, for the second day in a row, the band will more than likely be forced to postpone their record-setting trip. Good times.

Don’t take our word for it, though. Here, live and direct from Room 215 in Punta Arenas’s Finis Terrae hotel, are Pete Wentz and FOB’s tour manager, Henry Bourdeaux, to give you the latest on the weather conditions on Antarctica.

So there you have it, straight from Bourdeaux’s mouth. According to the expedition company that’s been hired to take FOB to Antarctica, the high winds and poor visibility scheduled for Wednesday make landing a plane nearly impossible (also, we hope our runway is still there), which, as I write this, means that the trip is once again a no-go.

But don’t despair just yet, FOB fans. The band are determined to land a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records - DETERMINED! - so they’ve extended their stay in Punta Arenas until at least Friday (which is good news for the mobs of screaming Fall Out Boy fans that have the hotel surrounded, but not necessarily good news for the band themselves. Or for me, for that matter). And early weather reports seem to indicate that Thursday should be clear enough to chance a landing.

It’s not clear, however, if Wentz will be using a bag of Lay’s potato chips as a microphone when (and if) FOB do make the voyage, but we’re sort of hoping he does.

Last week, Fall Out Boy announced they were going to play Antarctica, to set the world record for shortest amount of time to play all the world’s seven continents. MTV News writer James Montgomery got to go, because he and Pete Wentz are BFF. These are his stories.

Okay, so this is what happens when a band is sorta jet-lagged, a little bored and basically held hostage in a hotel (due to bad weather. That ALWAYS happens when you go to Antarctica). Oh, and when they happen to have an official from the Guinness Book of World Records on hand, too.

It’s the Great Chilean Cracker Challenge, an attempt by Fall Out Boy manager Bob McLynn and drummer Andy Hurley to break the world record for consuming three cream crackers. It’s A LOT harder than it looks, and somewhere in between Pete Wentz nearly puking (done conveniently off camera) and McLynn almost choking to death, it seemed like a pretty good time.

Oh, and no one even came close to touching the world record time of 29 seconds, though Hurley says he could break the record if he had enough time to practice.

Actual “reporting” from James’ adventure to Antarctica with Fall Out Boy can be found here.

Last week, Fall Out Boy announced they were going to play Antarctica, to set the world record for shortest amount of time to play all the world’s seven continents. MTV News writer James Montgomery got to go, a pity-concession for placing last in the Newsroom’s Fantasy Football league last year. These are his stories.

Well, after 19 hours, 4 in-flight meals, 3 layovers, 2 customs checkpoints and one pulse-pounding sprint through Santiago’s Arturo Merino Benitez airport to catch our connecting flight, we finally made it to Punta Arenas, a tiny town on the southernmost tip of Chile, where we’ll stay for the night before flying to Antarctica in the morning.

I should clarify that the “we” I’m referring to does not actually include Fall Out Boy (they arrived yesterday and played a show in Santiago last night), but rather myself, producer/cameraman extraordinaire, Ritesh Gupta (whose birthday it is today) and FOB’s man-mountain of a manager, Bob McLynnn, who has been very patient with us no matter how bad we screw up international travel (here’s a tip if you’re trying to make a tight connection: DON’T CHECK YOUR LUGGAGE. Good times).

So we were picked up at the airport by the gentleman in the photo above (bonus points for the discreet sign) and now we’re en route to our hotel. A bit later, we’ll meet up with the Fall Out Boys for a super-classified debriefing by the guides who will be taking us to Antarctica tomorrow morning. Actually, it’s not all that classified. I bet they’ll just tell us to wear long underwear or something. Anyway, I’ll check in again after the meeting. Now that we’ve finally arrived, perhaps we’ll have some fun tonight in Punta Arenas.