BREAKING NEWS! LITERALLY! According to “American Idol” blogs TopIdol and MJsBigBlog, there was an insane amount of drama during tonight’s “Idol” dress rehearsal! Exploding sets, falling stage managers! Yowzas! More news to come… We now return you to your regularly scheduled “American Idol” live-blog…
…and then the Pope says, “Poke her? I don’t even know her!” HAHAHA. That was a funny joke.
Before tonight’s Rock-themed “American Idol” live-blog, I want to say three words: I’m proud of you, America!
Yes, even though Simon threw my favorite contestant, Allison, under the bus on last week’s Rat Pack show (and even though I wrote a whole blog predicting her Results Show Demise) you guys rallied around the most underrated contestant of the season and pushed her through to tonight’s Rock-themed “Idol.”
Round of applause.
Tonight will be “Idol’s” most competitive yet. The deadweight is all gone (sorry Matt Giraud fan) and we’re left with four winners. (Yes, this Gokey hater was turned a believer after last week’s “Come Rain or Come Shine.”) And with Paula off the pills, we’re likely to avoid any Jason Castro-type ESP moments this year. Second round of applause for Paula coming clean, both figuratively and literally!
Lastly, thanks to a bout of inspiration which led to a ripped t-shirt in last week’s 60 Second Recap, I couldn’t properly shout-out last week’s winner of the “Cantiello Comment Contest.” MTV.COM user Robroy had a delicious rant that colorfully compared “Idol’s” stink to that of chicken poop. But it was the second comment that had me totally dying. “I had to look at Kara’s RIGHT ARMPIT AGAIN! Please, please, oh please…sob, sob…pleeeeeeeezzz…stop with the show opening Diguardia PitStop!”
Now that Robroy has mentioned that, you’re never going to be able to look at Kara and NOT stare at her armpit, am I right?
Let’s put this intro down like a sick dog and move on to tonight’s “Idol” live-blogging!
7:37 pm – MJ is reporting that the dress rehearsal for “Idol” has been canceled. Innnteresting. I wonder how that will affect the contestant’s game.
7:39 pm – OMG TopIdol is reporting that Debbie The Stage Manager fell down the stairs and was taken away on a stretcher. And then Ryan came out and the stage started to fall apart. Those scary spinning globes (which TopIdol mentioned in her on-the-scene blog entry from last week) hissed and then exploded. AHH!
7:40 pm – Who here thinks it’s the ghost of Bea Arthur wreaking havoc on “Idol” after hearing that Constantine Maroulis was nominated for a Tony Award this morning? You know that Broadway diva ain’t having any of that!
8:00 pm - And we're live! The taped teaser is rolling. I guess all the drama was swept up?
8:01 pm - And THIS...is "American Idol!" Okay, round of applause for the clean-up crew. Can't wait to hear what Seacrest says about the dress rehearsal!
8:02 pm - Holy crap! They're going into details. The contestants haven't been able to have a proper run-through!! And the set is broken! And they're going to do duets tonight! And Seacrest just referred to Randy as "The Staple!" This is so bizarre!
8:03 pm - Who wore it better? (Studded leather jacket edition): Kara DioGuardi or Adam Lambert?
8:04 pm - Slash is our mentor this week. He's a great vocalist! (Eyeroll.)
8:05 pm - Aww, Slash actually seems nervous to meet the contestants. Either that or he's detoxing.
8:06 pm - It's a true night of firsts. Adam Lambert is going first. For the first time ever. And he's doing a Led Zeppelin song. My mind = officially blown.
8:07 pm - Raise your hand if you're bopping your head right now. Adam Lambert is KILLING it!! I love Rock Week!!
8:09 pm - Also a first? This performance is like 17 minutes long. And it's ending with Adam shrieking "Deep inside! Woman! You need it!" Raise your hand if you just did a spit take.
8:10 pm - Randy thinks Adam should do a record with Slash. (Hate to break it to you, Randy. That album already exists. It's called "Appetite For Destruction.") Kara thinks Adam should do an album that's 70's classic rock, 80's glam rock, and Nine Inch Nails. And then she had a "When Harry Met Sally..." orgasm. I guess with Matt G gone, she's set her sights on Adam Lambert. Paula says his "Whole Lotta Love" was a whole lotta perfect. Groan.
8:11 pm - Simon says it was his favorite Lambert performance yet. One problem: "how is anyone gonna top that?" Good question, Cowell. Here's hoping Danny Gokey is next.
8:12 pm - D'oh! It's Allison! NOOO!!!
8:15 pm - A promo just promised the most intense "Hell's Kitchen" finale ever. Maybe they won't be cooking beef wellington this time? Because that would be SHOCKING!