Forget St. Patrick's Day, happy "American Idol" day! It's my favorite time of the week - live-blogging "American Idol!"??Tonight "Idol" is celebrating the timeless tunes of the Grand Ole Opry, and when I say "timeless" I mean old. Like, real old. Like Melinda Doolittle old. (Heard her debut album yet? She's got mad soul...for a sixty year old.)?Okay, not fair. Contemporary artists like Carrie Underwood, Randy Travis and Brad Paisley are all considered “Opry Stars,” so no matter how “Idol” tries to disguise it, tonight is basically “Country Night.”
Last week's double elimination was bittersweet. On one hand we trimmed the fat of Jasmine Murray, who was so boring I fell asleep writing this sentence, and Jorge Nunez, who I boldly predicted would win "Idol" this season. Ha! My fortune-telling technique is as bad as Lauren Conrad's. (Watch last night's "Detox" to figure out what I'm talking about. Shameless plug.)??
So throw on that cowboy hat and erase the memory of Phil Stacey, Josh Gracin, Kristy Lee Cook and Bucky Covington. Tonight ALL of our favorite "Idol" singers (and Adam Lambert) will be doing karaoke with a twang, and in Megan's case, a silly dance, too.
7:55 pm – Did you miss last week’s “Idol?” Catch up real quick with my “Idol in 60 Seconds” video recap here.
7:57 pm – Three minutes to go! Now’s a good time to shout-out my favorite comment from last week. It was a tough one to pick, what with one commenter complimenting the picture of my adorable cat, but flattery doesn’t get you everything, “cruzceleste.” So instead, I’m picking MTV.COM user “JennCho,” who is a fan of Allison “Not A Cutter” Iraheta. She wrote, “Allison had me rolling with the cutting line. Too bad she just lost the emo vote.” HA!
8:01 pm - And we're off! That ridiculous voice-over dude is back introducing the judges and Seacrest. I swear, Ryan must have an amazing agent, because you just KNOW that was in his contract for this season. "I want fancy stairs that I can walk down, and a dude with a deep voice must say my name seductively."
8:02 pm - ACK! Seacrest wishes everyone a Happy St. Paddy's day and then the set just turned green. If he really wanted to commit, he would have dressed up like a leprechaun, but whatever.
8:03 pm - Paula Abdul is sticking to her "Adam/Gokey" finale prediction. She has ESP, y'all. Remember last year when she critiqued Jason's performance BEFORE it happened? Mm-hmm.
8:04 pm - The contestants are coming out on stage, and my girl Megan Corkrey looks super-upset. Uh oh! Rumor has it, she suffered a wardrobe malfunction and couldn't perform during the dress rehearsal. (Thanks for the tip, MJs Big Blog!)
8:05 pm - So basically, the Grand Ole Opry is like The Skulls for the South. You think they have any hazing rituals? "Carrie Underwood, you can make it into the Opry, but first you have to shave Hank Williams, Jr.'s back...with your teeth."
8:06 pm - Texan Roughneck Michael Sarver is up first. He's singing "Ain't Goin' Down Til The Sun Comes Up." I wish I could say I know what this song is. According to Michael, it's "loaded with lyrics." This week's mentor, Randy Travis, whose face makes my TV look like it's on "Anamorphic Squeeze Mode" even though it's not, agrees that Sarver is doomed if he flubs a word.
8:08 pm - Michael Sarver - 0. The harmonica player (who I thought was Kris Allen for a second) - 1. This is pitiful. He's overpowered by the female background singers. He's awkwardly high fiving audience members. This is not going well.
8:10 pm - The judges missed the big notes. No one is calling him out on the fact that he was off the beat half the time.
8:11 pm - Mark 8:11 pm down as the moment Michael Sarver announced he was a country music artist. I KNEW this would happen.
8:12 pm - "If we were all perfect, we wouldn't need this show." Michael Sarver is a sass machine. The country folks are gonna love it.