Dear US Weekly,
Hi, how are you? Things must be pretty crazy over there, what with you giving career advice to Eliot Spitzer's call girl, digging up baby photos of this year's "American Idol" contestants and publishing Marissa Jaret Winokur's "Dancing With The Stars" diary (for some, that's a busy month, for you, just another Wednesday). But if you've got a minute, there's something we’ve got to ask you.
Right now, on your web site, you've got a story about Pete Wentz's suicide attempt. We think it's great that you went with the photo of him wearing the Clark Kent sunglasses, and wow, we love that you inserted the phrase "Shocker" into the headline for maximum impact. Really, nice work. But here's our question: Why is this news?
Okay, okay, we get why it's news. Perhaps the question should be "Do you realize this news happened nearly three years ago?" Wentz nearly overdosed on Ativan back in 2005, while he and his band were finishing up their From Under The Cork Tree Album, and he's spoken about the situation at length since then, to pretty much anyone who'd listen (a quick Google search reveals this Rolling Stone Q&A and this interview with Dose.ca … but maybe your Google is broken). In fact, his suicide attempt became such a widely discussed topic in the MySpace/Messageboard community that Fall Out Boy even slighly named a song on their Cork Tree album about it -- "Seven Minutes To Heaven (Atavan Halen)" [sic].
And one more thing, this interview you're quoting, the one he did for Half Of Us? Turns out he did that almost one year ago. We know because the series was done as a part of a series that ran on mtvU in April, 2007. It just seems odd to us that you'd choose to report on this now -- and give it a sensationalistic headline -- now.
Maybe it's because Wentz mentions listening to Jeff Buckley's cover of "Hallelujah," and that one dude on "American Idol" totally covered Buckley's version a couple of weeks ago? Or perhaps you've run out angles for the "Audrina Patridge Nude Pics" story? Or is this part of some new editorial venture: "US Weekly Presents: News of the Past!"
If you're looking for other stuff to report on from 2005, well, we heard Ang Lee's getting ready to release a film about gay cowboys(!)
Shocking, we know.
Anyway, hope all is well with you otherwise.