Wednesday night (February 16) smelled like sleep deprivation, bad craft service and embarrassing levels of desperation. It's not VMA week here at MTV (kidding), so it must mean one thing: Hollywood Group Number Night on "American Idol"!

In the past, we've had havoc-wreakers like the Brittenum Brothers, Tatiana del Toro, Julia DeMato and Antonella Barba. Who will step up and be this season's resident diva?

As it turns out, a bunch of people!

Thanks to producers insisting that each group feature singers from both days of the first Hollywood round (thus thwarting savvy hopefuls who secretly created groups and rehearsed on their day off), contestants' true colors shone through immediately.

The first diva showdown came during the initial group number scramble. In one corner, we had "professional choreographer" Tiffany "Star Tatas" Rios, and in the other we had Scotty "I Only Know One Song" McCreery. No shocker that nobody wanted to be in Tiffany's group. Could you blame them after she boasted to the judges "I'm tired of seeing people try to do what I know I can"? But Scotty's reaction to Tiffany's invitation was surprisingly divalicious. "Sing for me," he sniffed to the desperate Rios as he sprayed his voice with some kind of magic Celine Dion vocal spray. Even cowboys get the phlegm!

Then Scotty dissed the likeable Sugarmamas, who were desperate to include a day two singer after their first nameless white dude member (who might have been Tim Heidecker) ditched them. (The Sugarmamas also ended up losing Jessica Yantz to Tiffany Rios. Perhaps they should have renamed their group the Hemorrhages.)

Scotty met his match with Jordan Dorsey, who only needed to hear two seconds of McCreery's signature "Oh baby blah blah blah lights down low" song before hilariously hissing, "No, just no." Later, Dorsey denied calling a girl "a weak link" two seconds after he called just that. Werk, delusional diva! Werk! (Eventually Jordan left his first group to go terrorize another.)

Our next diva was Guap group leader Clint Jun Gamboa, who kicked 15-year-old cherub Jacee Badeaux to the curb. Clint, Clint, Clint — even if Jacee's sweet honey-dripped tenor wasn't gelling with the group (as you claimed), didn’t you realize that you'd look like a heartless boob on television for making an adorable puppy cry? Good thing Jacee's mom passed the parent test by saying precisely the right thing to her weeping child. "You know what? It just wasn't meant to be." Four for you, Mama Badeaux! (Jacee ended up with a group who knew a thing or two about being dumped: the Sugarmamas.)

Moms were involved in another diva-off, this one with resident season 10 screamer James Durbin. Both his group, the Deep V's and the Minors (a collection of underage R&B superstars), were tackling Queen's "Somebody to Love." But his Asperger's-and-Tourette's-affected mind thought it was unfair that the 15- and 16-year-olds were getting coached by their sassy stage moms. He bitched to producers, cameras and anyone who would listen, which was basically everyone in the greater Los Angeles area since Durbin busted out his signature shriek. "Either way, our version is really gonna kick some aaaaaaaass," he said/sang as a group member visibly winced. I feel ya, bud.

Our next diva, Jacqueline Dunford, committed the cardinal sin of "Idol" Hollywood Week episodes by saying she didn't want anyone to "take control" of the group. You know where this is going. Read More...

Tags American Idol