Howard Stern

Batten down the hatches … if you thought Piers Morgan was a meanie you ain't seen nothin' yet!

Morgan could be a real prig on "America's Got Talent," which is kind his whole deal, so now that he's leaving the show to focus on his work at CNN, execs at NBC are looking for a fitting replacement and the Wall Street Journal reports they think they've found one in the form of shock jock Howard Stern.

That's right! Stern is reportedly in talks to become a judge on the talent competition and would earn a hefty $15 million a year to join Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel on the show.

Think he's a good choice? Vote in our poll below!

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After months of hype and headlines, Simon Cowell’s "X Factor" is finally debuting in America next week. The question is: Will anyone care?

In the past year, our DVRs have been filled to the max with reality singing competitions, from the revamped (J. Lo on a kinder, gentler "American Idol") to the remixed ("The Voice" has swivel chairs, you guys) to the reviled (ugh, "Karaoke Battle USA"). These days, the casual TV viewer needs a doctorate in “Reality TV” to keep track of all the various karaoke contests.

So, as a public service to fellow confused and overwhelmed TV addicts, I’ve broken down all the shows that are sure to feature overwrought renditions of Alicia Keys' songs and judges sipping from sponsored soda cups. (Example: "Idol" is Coke, "X Factor" is Pepsi. "The Sing Off" is…Coke 2?)

Practice your scales, warm up your pipes and dig in!

American Idol

"American Idol"
Season 11 premieres on Fox in January
Premise: Small town folks with big voices get plucked from obscurity
Weepy Judge: J Lo, although we’re not buying it
Hard Ass Judge: Randy, although we’re not buying it
Token Genre Judge: Rock legend Steven Tyler, although we’re not sure he knows that he’s on television half the time
Host’s Greatest Asset: Seacrest’s bank account.
Guest mentors: Ranging from the A-list (OH MY GAGA!) to the A-list…from the '90s (Babyface!)
Prize: $1 million contract with Universal; destined to play state fairs for years to come
Do the Judges Mentor: Nope. Nor do they judge. Everyone’s brilliant and amazing!
Ratings: #1 show on TV, performance shows averaged almost 26 million viewers a week!
Age Range: 15-29
Recent Backstage Drama: Producers bickering in the press with Simon Cowell, J.Lo contract negotiations, PIA TOSCANO AND MARK BALLAS SPLIT OMG.
Biggest Star(s): The Holy Idol Trinity of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Chris Daughtry.

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Wednesday night's (July 14) episode of "America's Got Talent" (always gamely hosted by Nick Cannon, who really should have his own talk show) featured an appearance by the cast of the Broadway musical "Rock of Ages" (which includes former "American Idol" hopeful Constantine Mouralis). The stage spectacle pays homage to some of the greatest arena rock anthems of the 1980s, and last night's performance a handful of tunes (including Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'") as well as a surprise guest appearance by Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider. The show also featured a handful of acts getting a pass to the next round of the show (including favorites Future Funk) as well as a performance by Selena Gomez and the Scene.

But Snider's visit was by far the show's highlight, because any appearance by Snider is always welcome. Though more of the members of the '80s hair metal elite are aging gracefully than logic would dictate (including Bret Michaels, Vince Neil and Sebastian Bach), Snider has truly transcended himself. Despite his classic appearance (he always had huge hair, make-up and battle gear, as though he was auditioning for a spot in Kiss), Snider has long been the thinking man's metalhead. He famously gave a command performance before the PMRC after Twisted Sister was added to the list of the "Filthy 15" in 1984, made a pretty great horror movie ("Strangeland") and has worked as a top-notch radio personality (his morning show on WMRQ in Hartford in the late '90s was one of the best in the country).

Snider still sounds great and still tours and records with Twisted Sister, and his songs have survived the test of time. Though "We're Not Gonna Take It" is probably their signature tune, "I Wanna Rock" is immortal.

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So far, "America's Got Talent" hasn't had a watershed performance like Susan Boyle's, which blew the world away on the show's British counterpart. But last night's show featured Kevin Skinner, a self-proclaimed "chicken catcher" who sang and strummed his way through a gorgeous rendition of Garth Brooks' ballad "If Tomorrow Never Comes." Judge David Hasselhoff seemed genuinely moved by the song, and Piers Morgan was considerably impressed by the juxtaposition of Skinner's ratty appearance and the gentle beauty of the tune.

While "America's Got Talent" has been a little underwhelming so far, it's safe to say that last night's show — which also featured an eighth-grader named Thia Megia who sang a Jennifer Holliday song that was similarly stunning — was the best so far. The competition could get very interesting from here on out.

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Susan Boyle made a big splash after her performance on "Britain's Got Talent," which made her a worldwide sensation. The U.S. version, "America's Got Talent," kicks off next week, and we're excited to find out which American performer will catch on and become a viral sensation the way Boyle did.

We're not sure of their talent, but we think a group called Voices of Glory might be the early pick for a breakout. The three sibling singers specialize in R&B and gospel, but their singing may have also helped their mother recover from a coma. Three years ago, Felicia Cole was hit by a drunk driver and spent eight months in a hospital. Her three children — Michael, Avery and Nadia — started singing to their mother while she lay in a coma, and she (at least partially) credits their music with her recovery (she also gives a shout-out to the Lord). Since then, they've performed several shows in and around their hometown of Newburgh, New York, but will make their national debut on the season premiere next Tuesday, June 23. "America's Got Talent" is executive produced by Simon Cowell and will feature Sharon Osbourne, Piers Morgan and David Hasselhoff judging singers, dancers, magicians, comedians and whatever else the country has up its sleeve. But we find it hard to believe they're going to come across anybody whose vocals are so powerful that they can reverse a coma. After all, if they're that strong, who cares if they might be pitchy?

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