After months of hype and headlines, Simon Cowell’s "X Factor" is finally debuting in America next week. The question is: Will anyone care?
In the past year, our DVRs have been filled to the max with reality singing competitions, from the revamped (J. Lo on a kinder, gentler "American Idol") to the remixed ("The Voice" has swivel chairs, you guys) to the reviled (ugh, "Karaoke Battle USA"). These days, the casual TV viewer needs a doctorate in “Reality TV” to keep track of all the various karaoke contests.
So, as a public service to fellow confused and overwhelmed TV addicts, I’ve broken down all the shows that are sure to feature overwrought renditions of Alicia Keys' songs and judges sipping from sponsored soda cups. (Example: "Idol" is Coke, "X Factor" is Pepsi. "The Sing Off" is…Coke 2?)
Practice your scales, warm up your pipes and dig in!
"American Idol"
Season 11 premieres on Fox in January
Premise: Small town folks with big voices get plucked from obscurity
Weepy Judge: J Lo, although we’re not buying it
Hard Ass Judge: Randy, although we’re not buying it
Token Genre Judge: Rock legend Steven Tyler, although we’re not sure he knows that he’s on television half the time
Host’s Greatest Asset: Seacrest’s bank account.
Guest mentors: Ranging from the A-list (OH MY GAGA!) to the A-list…from the '90s (Babyface!)
Prize: $1 million contract with Universal; destined to play state fairs for years to come
Do the Judges Mentor: Nope. Nor do they judge. Everyone’s brilliant and amazing!
Ratings: #1 show on TV, performance shows averaged almost 26 million viewers a week!
Age Range: 15-29
Recent Backstage Drama: Producers bickering in the press with Simon Cowell, J.Lo contract negotiations, PIA TOSCANO AND MARK BALLAS SPLIT OMG.
Biggest Star(s): The Holy Idol Trinity of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Chris Daughtry.
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Tags America's Got Talent, American Idol, Reality Shows, reality tv, The Voice