
Over the summer, when the Miami Heat were in the process of bringing together one of the greatest trios in NBA history in LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh, a big argument erupted surrounding the league's new superpower. It wasn't over the size of their contracts or the effect on the city of Cleveland (whose team James was leaving behind). Rather, it was about a nickname. Now that the three had gotten together, what would we call this new team?
A number of ideas were kicked around, though just about all of them were terrible. "The Big Three" seemed way too generic, while "Miami Thrice" had both cultural relevance and grammar problems. "The Superfriends" was a little more on the ball, but it still felt strangely generic. All transcendent basketball teams need a great nickname, and it would be a crime if the Heat won the NBA championship without one.
But apparently James wants to solve the problem himself. In an interview with Fox Sports after the team's game in Charlotte on Monday night (January 3), James said that he calls his little group "The Heatles," comparing his arena-filling team to the Beatles.
While the Beatles were certainly gigantic (and able to fill arenas all across the country, just like the Heat), they were never quite as polarizing as this basketball team. Still, the personalities of the individual players do match up relatively well.
LeBron James is Paul McCartney
Like Paul, LeBron is the group's most popular member and generally responsible for their crowd-pleasing hugeness. Also, on a long enough timeline, LeBron would probably write "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time."
Chris Bosh is John Lennon
While Bosh has never quite had the kind of adoration enjoyed by James and Wade, he is still capable of greatness. He's not unlike a post-Beatles Lennon, who was not quite as successful as McCartney but had a handful of truly transcendent moments. He also seems most likely to marry a woman who would completely change the course of his career.
Dwayne Wade is George Harrison
Like Harrison, Wade is the very picture of consistency. Though he is no longer the go-to guy in Miami, Wade continues to put up solid numbers and create for the players around him. Harrison rarely got the opportunity to shine in the Beatles, but when he did punch through, it was usually jaw-dropping.
Juwan Howard is Ringo Starr
Because seriously, what is that guy even doing back there? Howard is also going through Starr's career in reverse, as the Fab Five might as well have been his All-Starr Band.







